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Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Booty Queen: Things That Go Bump-Da-Da-Bump-Bump in the Night
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Aug 19 2026
Pages: 108
Weight: 0.34
Height: 0.22 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Emile Milo Petitjean is the sole employee of the Quality of Life Department in Anse Perdue Parish, Louisiana-a department housed in a nine-by-seven converted supply closet whose primary duty is managing local noise. When forty-one residents file complaints within nine days describing a late-night, chest-thumping vibration (Bump-da-da-bump-bump), Milo is legally required under Parish Ordinance 14-3 to enter an official Determination of Source before any citation or resolution can occur.
The parish naturally points to the Big Bad Booty Queen, a ninety-year-old local cryptid legend that fuels the town's $1.4 million annual tourist festival, Bump Fest. However, a frustrated marine acoustician insists the noise is merely thousands of spawning male black drum fish vibrating their swim bladders, while a 74-year-old former Mardi Gras queen admits to walking the levee at 3:00 a.m. in full regalia.
Things escalate when a young local podcaster seeking cryptid fame disappears, leaving his aluminum boat wedged eleven feet up a cypress tree without a storm in sight. As an $11.3 million coastal grant hangs in the balance and Tropical Storm Yvette approaches, Milo must navigate small-town politics, hundreds of AI-generated fake photos, local eccentrics, and the actual mystery lurking beneath the bayou waters.
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