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Dave: A Noun, an Adjective, and a Deeply Regrettable Verb: Being a true and only slightly exaggerated account of one man's collision with the English
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 17 2026
Pages: 36
Weight: 0.15
Height: 0.09 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
Dave Vance is a profoundly unremarkable junior actuary at Syntech Solutions whose life operates at the speed of continental drift. That is, until the Department of Ontological Redundancy stages an overnight linguistic coup and commodifies his identity. Because humanity has completely exhausted its vocabulary, Agent Smyth drafts Dave's name into the global ecosystem to serve as a multitool part of speech. Suddenly, Dave is a noun for a bureaucratic malfunction, an adjective for lukewarm disappointment, and a verb for resolving crises via sheer blunt force.
When Dave attempts to strike back through aggressive, passive inertia, the universe delivers a literal karmic correction in the form of a sixteen-ton municipal transit bus. To survive the Punctuation Zone and reclaim his status as a proper capitalized noun, Dave must finally abandon thirty-four years of passivity and learn to navigate the world in the active voice.
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