Sign-In
Cart
Dad Got Crabs
Paperback
Series: White Elephant Gifts: Bad Christmas Books, Book 3
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Apr 4 2025
Pages: 30
Weight: 0.21
Height: 0.08 Width: 8.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
What do you get when you cross a wholesome children's book with an STI scare, a suspicious motel visit, and seafood wordplay? You get Dad Got Crabs - a hilariously inappropriate adult cartoon book that looks innocent enough to read to your kids... until you actually open it.
Presented in a bright, colorful, children's picture book style, this MA-rated gag gift is definitely not for bedtime - unless your bedtime involves uncomfortable family secrets, shady fish markets, and a dad with a little too much explaining to do.
This is not a book for the faint of heart, the easily offended, or anyone who still thinks Dad is a saint. But for everyone else? It's pure gold.
Here's what you'll get:- A rhyming story full of euphemisms, denial, and scratchy consequences
- Full-page cartoon illustrations that look like a children's book but scream White Elephant party winner
- A painfully funny reminder that seafood and secrecy do not mix
- The perfect cringe-worthy gift for that one friend who loves dark humor and bad decisions
This book is the gift that keeps on itching. Whether you're looking for the ultimate joke gift or a weirdly specific birthday gift for Dad (especially if he's got a suspicious tan line and a sudden love of the shore), this cringe-fest of a picture book hits the spot.
Perfect for:- Funny book lovers with a twisted sense of humor
- White Elephant gift exchanges that need a guaranteed laugh
- Gag gifts for coworkers, in-laws, or your gross college roommate
- Christmas gifts for that uncle who laughs too hard at inappropriate jokes
- Bachelor parties or divorce parties (yes, that's a thing now)
- Anyone who deserves a humor book so uncomfortable, they'll need ointment after reading
Because in the end, we're not selling a book. We're selling that moment of shocked laughter - that I cannot believe someone published this feeling that lives forever in a person's memory (and possibly on their coffee table for years of awkward conversations).
Dad Got Crabs is crude, clever, and crawling with comedy. It's not for everyone - and that's exactly why you're going to love giving it.
Warning: Contains adult humor, innuendo, and a dad who just won't stop making it worse.
Buy a copy for yourself. Buy three more as gifts. Then maybe... go get checked.
Also from
Gosse, Brad
Redneck Nursery Rhymes: Florida Man Stan Presents: Jack and Jill
Gosse, Brad
Giambra, Hunter
Paperback
Also in
Humor
I Can't Believe I Did That: The Game That Gives You Points for Sharing Awkward, Awesome, and Unforgettable Memories: Card Games
Nadelberg, David
Katcher, Neil
Other
The Science Magpie: Fascinating Facts, Stories, Poems, Diagrams and Jokes Plucked from Science
Flynn, Simon
Paperback
Fixing Flamingos: And Other Solutions to the World's Least Pressing Problems
Rea, Brian
Brown, Lucienne
Paperback
How to Be a Cat: (Cat Books for Kids, Cat Gifts for Kids, Cat Picture Book)
Swerling, Lisa
Lazar, Ralph
Hardcover
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
Hardcover
How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself
Lawson, Jenny
Hardcover
Bake It Off: An Unofficial Taylor Swift-Inspired Cookbook for Every Era, from Breakfast to Midnights
Smith, Lindsey
Hardcover
Big Fan: Two Friends, 82,490 Miles, and the Wild, Wonderful Sports We Love
Posnanski, Joe
Schur, Michael
Hardcover
Black Out Loud: The Revolutionary History of Black Comedy from Vaudeville to '90s Sitcoms
Bennett, Geoff
Hardcover
We Are the World (Cup): A Personal History of the World's Greatest Sporting Event
Bennett, Roger
Hardcover
Pardon My Book: Ten Years of the Best (and Worst) in Sports from Pardon My Take
Big Cat
Commenter, Pft
Hardcover
How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up: Big Lessons from Little Kids
Shapiro-Barnum, Julian
Hardcover
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
Adams, Douglas
Paperback
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Piven, Joshua
Borgenicht, David
Hardcover
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
Auburn, Zachary
Paperback
Not Today, Fascists: The Lies That Got Us Here, and the Truths That Will Reunite Us
Welch, Jennifer
Hardcover
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die (New York Times Bestseller)
Condo, Messie
Hardcover