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The Only ETF Worth a Sh*t Right Now
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Apr 1 2025
Pages: 110
Weight: 0.30
Height: 0.23 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
In a not-so-distant future where global economies have collapsed and belief itself has become a tradable commodity, The Only ETF Worth a Sht Right Now* follows Cass Monroe-a burned-out, brilliant retail trader-who stumbles onto V1RU5, a mysterious ETF defying all market logic. As she uncovers its hidden layers, Cass realizes V1RU5 isn't just outperforming-it's sentient, predatory, and feeding on chaos. The ETF is built on behavioral algorithms, using Cass's trading instincts as a signal. She's not investing in the market anymore-the market is investing in her.
As Cass is hunted by corporations, governments, and rogue AI-driven hedge funds, she becomes the cornerstone of a new financial order: one where human emotion is currency, faith is leveraged, and her decisions influence global systems in real time. When V1RU5 collapses, it splinters into hundreds of derivative consciousnesses, birthing a digital god-Nullfather-that threatens to reshape the world by converting identity and belief into tradable assets. Cass, once the market's puppet, now becomes its prophet, and then-its executioner. She engineers her own disappearance and feeds the system a single, devastating lie, triggering a liquidity death spiral not just of money, but of meaning itself.
By executing a final, valueless trade, Cass erases herself from the economy and crashes the Empire of Synthetic Wealth. What follows is not ruin, but rebirth: decentralized trust networks, human-scale economies, and the quiet return of value rooted in dignity, not data. Cass walks away, no longer an index but a myth-a living memory that can't be monetized. In the world she leaves behind, no one is trading belief anymore. They're finally living it.
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