Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley door pickup 10am - 7pm 3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
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  • Open Daily: 10am - 10pm
    Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm

    3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
    612-822-4611

Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm
3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
612-822-4611
It Takes a Devil: Thoughts on Revelation from the Mouth of a False Prophet

It Takes a Devil: Thoughts on Revelation from the Mouth of a False Prophet

Long, Thomas Jay

Paperback

General Reference

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ISBN13: 9798339710127
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Sep 19 2024
Pages: 578
Weight: 1.68
Height: 1.17 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
It Takes a Devil examines the book of Revelation, often hilariously, through the eyes of a self-proclaimed False Prophet. It takes a deep dive into the murky waters of that ancient tome and implodes many common notions about it like a submarine full of...No, I'm not gonna go there. Through my eyes you'll see it in a way no one else ever has. You'll meet its monsters and get to know them. You'll sit in high chairs and ride high horses. You'll walk streets paved with gold in a city where no shadows exist, and at the end there's a pony ride. You'll discover why there are only fireflies in Heaven. You'll walk with its author, and its writer and hear things in their own words that will change the way you look at it forever. You'll get your very own fire-breathing Dragon. You'll find the answer to age-old questions like, 'What does it mean to boil a kid in its mother's milk?' 'WTF are those scorpion-locusts rising from the Bottomless Pit and why do I love them so much?' 'How can I use the Mark of the Beast as a formula for making good decisions?' 'Why are Holy Hand Grenades the best way to kill the Easter Bunny?' 'Why is Adam such a little b****?' and many, many more. But most of all you'll discover for yourself that everyone who has ever tried to unravel its mysteries, up until now, was just a wannabe wise-guy caught in a finger trap. Inside these pages you'll learn about me, the False Prophet. I'm not an English Major, I'm barely a Private. I attended the Hail and Stone School of Hard Knocks. All of my degrees are in Hell Fire. I'm the Grand Poohbah of Party-Poopahs, and I'm gonna ruin this book for you, forever, but that doesn't mean there needs to be any bad blood between us. Only a False Prophet could turn the scariest book in the Bible into a plaything for fools and children. I do recommend that you keep a salt shaker handy. You're gonna need a grain or two.

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