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Blackmoney: in 365 days to a million
Paperback
Series: The Blackmoney Trilogy, Book 1
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jun 30 2025
Pages: 36
Weight: 0.10
Height: 0.07 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
BLACKMONEY: In 365 Days to a Million
A book you can't read, written by someone who barely can. What on earth is this?
Imagine stumbling upon an ancient clay tablet in a flea-market, covered in cryptic symbols you've never seen, smelling faintly of burnt ambition. Now imagine that tablet printed on glossy paper, shipped in two-day Prime, and costing exactly $9.99. Congratulations-you've just pictured this book.
27 lavish pages of cuneiform-style glyphs painstakingly hammered onto a keyboard by Dimitry Martens in his underwear.
A relentlessly honest Epilogue that shatters every get-rich-quick fantasy you've ever had.
A no-nonsense Legal & Safety Disclaimer reminding you that paper is not a dietary supplement.
A teaser for the inevitable sequel: CUNEIFORM → ENGLISH: Finally Figure Out What You Bought (also $9.99, obviously).
Repeated, merciless reminders that the real millionaire is the guy who convinced you to click Buy Now.
Conversation-starter - Leave it on your coffee table. Watch guests pretend they get it.
Perfect prank gift - For that friend who still says crypto to the moon.
Art-piece - Frame a page; call it post-neo-conceptual minimalist satire.
Life lesson - Realize in real time that curiosity and FOMO run your wallet.
Because you just laughed out loud reading this listing - Admit it.
Fine. Here it is:
Step 1: Create something bizarre.
Step 2: Sell it with unapologetic confidence.
Step 3: Let human curiosity do the rest.
Step 4: Rinse, repeat, and thank the algorithms.
That's the only plan you'll find-buried beneath layers of symbols that look suspiciously like a drunk archaeologist's grocery list.
Legal Notice & Safety DisclaimerCopyright (c) 2025 Dimitry Martens.
Do not boil, fry, sauté, flambé, or air-fry this booklet.
Swallowing these pages may cause uncontrollable laughter, existential dread, or sudden urges to start an e-commerce side hustle.
Littering this book is punishable by public mockery and/or having to read it aloud at family gatherings.
If you accidentally become a millionaire after reading it, the author respectfully claims 10% and a ride in your helicopter.
Collect oddities, curiosities, or mild regrets.
Need the quirkiest White-Elephant-gift in office-party history.
Just want to see whether the cuneiform spells out You've been scammed. (Spoiler: it might.)
Believe $9.99 is a small price for an inside joke that only gets funnier the longer you think about it.
Click Buy Now. Join the experiment.
If it makes you rich-write your own unreadable book and thank Dimitry later.
If it doesn't-you get an unbeatable story: Remember that time I bought a book in ancient Mesopotamian emoji?
Either way, welcome to BLACKMONEY. The joke's already on us... or is it on you?
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