Sign-In
Cart
What Good Fathers Carry: The honest, undefended testimony of the father who left and never stopped loving
Paperback
Series: Where Is Dad?
General ParentingRelationships
Please select the version of book you would like to purchase.
ISBN13: 9798188505936
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 22 2026
Pages: 196
Weight: 0.59
Height: 0.42 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 22 2026
Pages: 196
Weight: 0.59
Height: 0.42 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
He is walking past you right now. He paid school fees last week. He rehearsed a conversation he has not yet found the threshold to begin. He received a text from his daughter on an ordinary afternoon and held the phone for a long time before he answered. He is not the absent father of cultural imagination - the one who didn't care, who walked away clean, who built a new life without looking back. He is the other one. The one nobody writes about.
What Good Fathers Carry is the first book in the bestselling Where Is Dad? series written from the father's perspective. It is the honest, undefended, scientifically grounded testimony of the father who left a relationship but never abandoned his children - who has been carrying something for years that the culture has no name for, no ritual for, and no baraza to hold. Written by author and humanitarian Steven Ssamba from inside his own story, this book covers: - The specific grief of a father who knew what he was doing when he left and loved his children anyway
- The hologram - the detailed vision of family life that every committed father builds, and what it costs when life forces him to abandon it
- The facade of provision: why paying school fees feels like love and isn't enough
- The wall: the specific silence that men maintain because the cultural script only allows one role for the father who left - villain
- The other man in the home: the difference between jealousy and a father's legitimate fear about his children's lineage and belonging
- The water park: what accidental disclosure costs a child and what a father owes when information arrives at the wrong time
- Sarah's text: what it means when a child reaches first, and what a father owes the child who reaches
- What good fathers owe their children - specifically, practically, without romance
- What healing looks like when it never fully arrives Drawing on the work of leading researchers - Kenneth Doka on disenfranchised grief, Pauline Boss on ambiguous loss, Michael Lamb on paternal attachment, Judith Wallerstein on disclosure - and grounded in the specific cultural reality of East African fatherhood, What Good Fathers Carry provides both the science and the testimony that millions of men have been waiting for. This book is for:
- Fathers who left and never stopped loving
- Children who grew up wondering what was happening on the other side of the silence
- Therapists, counselors, and practitioners working with non-resident fathers and their families
- Anyone who loves a man carrying something he has never found the right words for The wall was never built to keep others out. It was built because there was nowhere else to put what he was carrying. What Good Fathers Carry is the book that finally names what he's been carrying.
- The hologram - the detailed vision of family life that every committed father builds, and what it costs when life forces him to abandon it
- The facade of provision: why paying school fees feels like love and isn't enough
- The wall: the specific silence that men maintain because the cultural script only allows one role for the father who left - villain
- The other man in the home: the difference between jealousy and a father's legitimate fear about his children's lineage and belonging
- The water park: what accidental disclosure costs a child and what a father owes when information arrives at the wrong time
- Sarah's text: what it means when a child reaches first, and what a father owes the child who reaches
- What good fathers owe their children - specifically, practically, without romance
- What healing looks like when it never fully arrives Drawing on the work of leading researchers - Kenneth Doka on disenfranchised grief, Pauline Boss on ambiguous loss, Michael Lamb on paternal attachment, Judith Wallerstein on disclosure - and grounded in the specific cultural reality of East African fatherhood, What Good Fathers Carry provides both the science and the testimony that millions of men have been waiting for. This book is for:
- Fathers who left and never stopped loving
- Children who grew up wondering what was happening on the other side of the silence
- Therapists, counselors, and practitioners working with non-resident fathers and their families
- Anyone who loves a man carrying something he has never found the right words for The wall was never built to keep others out. It was built because there was nowhere else to put what he was carrying. What Good Fathers Carry is the book that finally names what he's been carrying.
Also from
Ssamba, Steven
The Clutter Trap: How Hidden Obligations Colonize Your Future & The Framework To Reclaim it
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$20.39
How to Ruin Your Marriage: What No Marriage Book Will Tell You About How Good Marriages Are Lost
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$20.39
What Father Absence Does to a Girl: What Girls Carry When Fathers Leave, And How Women Heal From What They Carry
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$20.39
The Open Hand: What Handovers, Waiting Periods, and Every Act of Letting Go Reveal About What We Love
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$19.19
The Courage to Be Ridiculed: How Your Insecurities Silently Control Your Life
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$20.39
How Men Get Manipulated in Relationships: Recognize Toxic Patterns, Protect Your Mind, and Build Stronger Boundaries
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$22.79
Small Things, Big Falls: How Ignored Warnings Become Catastrophes - in Cockpits, Marriages, and Boardrooms
Ssamba, Steven
Paperback
$20.39
Also in
Relationships
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
$18.99
The Meaning of Marriage Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video, Updated Edition: A Vision for Married and Single People
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Paperback
$18.99
A Guide to Open Water Lifesaving: Lessons on Love, Care, and Survival: A Memoir
Eubanks, Virginia
Hardcover
$28.80
Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter
Young Phd, Jennie
Hardcover
$27.00
Burn Book: Burn Book Mean Girls journal, Its full of secrets! - Blank Notebook/Journal - Mean Girls Notebook
George, Regina
Paperback
$9.98
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--And Keep--Love
Heller, Rachel
Levine, Amir
Paperback
$18.00
Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
Spade, Dean
Paperback
$18.99
Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy
Atlas, Galit
Hardcover
$27.00
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Borgenicht, David
Piven, Joshua
Hardcover
$18.95
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Women: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
$16.14
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Silver, Nan
Gottman, John, PhD
Paperback
From $11.99
Let's F*cking Date: Become the Prize, Enjoy the Ride, and Never Settle Again
Kerrigan, Serena
Hardcover
$28.50
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
$16.14
No More MR Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life
Glover, Robert A.
Hardcover
$22.80
The Love Language(tm) That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It
Parrott, Les
Chapman, Gary
Parrott, Leslie
Paperback
$17.09
Why Am I Like This?: Break Your Relationship Patterns and Create the Life You Want
Zohar, Sabrina
Hardcover
$28.50
Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Nagoski, Emily
Paperback
$18.90
The Balancing ACT: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself
Tawwab, Nedra Glover
Hardcover
$28.50
I Have This Thing for Flowers: Essays on the Roots of Relationships
Sawchyn, Alysia Li Ying
Hardcover
$26.09
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl--A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Argov, Sherry
Paperback
From $10.99
The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: Let Go of Toxic Bonds and Build Healthy Ones
Zebian, Najwa
Hardcover
$25.65
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Gottman, John, PhD
Hardcover
$28.50
Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--And How to Find Our Way Back
Clayton, Ingrid
Hardcover
$30.40
Stand Firm and ACT Like Men: Becoming the Man You Were Created to Be Instead of Who the World Says You Are
Martin, Joby
Hardcover
$27.55
The Autism Partner Handbook: How to Love an Autistic Person
Biel, Joe
Blue, Elly
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
$14.20
Together with Christ: A Dating Couples Devotional: 52 Devotions and Bible Studies to Nurture Your Relationship
Damon, Chelsea
Paperback
$14.24
You Are the One You've Been Waiting for: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
Schwartz, Richard C.
Paperback
$19.00
The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
Hardy, Janet W.
Easton, Dossie
Paperback
From $11.99
For Better and Worse: The Complicated Past and Challenging Future of Marriage
Coontz, Stephanie
Hardcover
$27.00
The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships
Fern, Jessica
Paperback
$18.95
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Steffens, Barbara
Means, Marsha
Paperback
$21.54
How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
Reis, Harry
Lyubomirsky, Sonja
Hardcover
$32.30
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship
Ruiz, Don Miguel
Mills, Janet
Paperback
From $9.99
So You Married a Human: The Totally Doable Unconventional Guide to a Thriving Partnership
Kelley, Jackie
Paperback
$17.99
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - For Women Only: Be Happy With or Without a Man
Gray, John
Paperback
$18.04
The Parent's Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child's Mental and Emotional Health Through a Breakup or Separation
Komisar, Erica
Paperback
$17.99
The Forgotten Briefcase: The world knows her name. Few really knew her.
Perrulli, Joseph T.
Paperback
$22.50
Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together
Driscoll, Mark
Driscoll, Grace
Paperback
$19.99
How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion
Pueblo, Yung
Hardcover
From $14.99
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Gottman, John
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Abrams, Doug
Hardcover
$25.65
The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love
Garcia, Justin R.
Hardcover
$27.00
Los 5 Lenguajes del Amor (Revisado): El Secreto del Amor Que Perdura - Edición Estándar (Spanish Edition)
Chapman, Gary
Paperback
$17.09
Mothering the New Mother: Women's Feelings & Needs After Childbirth: A Support and Resource Guide
Placksin, Sally
Paperback
$20.89
Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last
Bellamy, Tom
Hardcover
$28.50
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Orlov, Melissa
Paperback
$20.85
Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
$14.20
Money for Couples: No More Stress. No More Fights. Just a 10-Step Plan to Create Your Rich Life Together.
Sethi, Ramit
Paperback
$18.99
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Paperback
$20.90
The Deep-Rooted Marriage Companion Guide: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight
Call, Steve
Allender, Dan B.
Paperback
$18.99
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated: Nine Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Remarry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
$12.34
The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious Relationship Together
Ash, Mat &.
Micheletti, Ashley
Couple, The Yoga
Paperback
$29.99
Strengthen Your Marriage: Personal Insights Into Your Relationship
Parrott, Les
Parrott, Leslie
Paperback
$20.89
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
Eggerichs, Emerson
Hardcover
$28.49
Seven Desires: Looking Past What Separates Us to Learn What Connects Us
Laaser, Debra
Laaser, Mark
Paperback
$18.04
The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple's Devotional: A Year of Daily Devotions
Keller, Kathy
Keller, Timothy
Hardcover
$27.55
Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love in Committed Relationships
Gray, John
Paperback
$18.04
Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings
Lunn, Natasha
Paperback
$18.05
The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst, Second Edition
Mays Lpc Csat-S, Michelle
Paperback
$28.69
Generation Uncoupled: America's New Gender Divide and the Crisis of Human Connection
Cox, Daniel
Hardcover
$27.00
A Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life's Storms (Itpe)
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
$18.99
Calling in the One Revised and Expanded: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life
Thomas, Katherine Woodward
Paperback
$17.10
Spiritual Mismatch: Hope for Christians Married to Someone Who Doesn't Know God
Strobel, Leslie
Strobel, Lee
Paperback
$19.99
His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage
Larimore MD, Walt
Larimore, Barb
Paperback
$18.99
Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
Stringer, Jay
Hardcover
$28.50
The Love Producer: My Unscripted Journey from a Reality TV Career to My Own Happily Ever After
Laplaca, Julie
Paperback
$20.85
You Could Be Having Better Sex: The Definitive Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and Hotter Sex Life
McNichols, Nicole
Hardcover
$26.10
Joy Isn't Canceled: What Grief Taught Us about Pain, Peace, and Purpose
Penavega, Carlos
Penavega, Alexa
Hardcover
$28.49
Beyond Infidelity: How to Turn the End of Your Relationship Into the Beginning of Your Life
Larusso, Lauren, Lpc Lmhc
Hardcover
$28.50
The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Poole Heller, Diane
Paperback
$19.00
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Cloud, Henry
Townsend, John
Paperback
$18.99
Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy
Cassidy, Mel
Paperback
$19.90
Unfuck Your Intimacy Workbook: Using Science for Better Dating, Sex, and Relationships
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
$12.34
Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship
Doyle, Cyndi
Paperback
$17.09
Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship
Thompson, Monique, Dha Lpc
Paperback
$15.19
Divorce Care: Hope, Help, and Healing During and After Your Divorce
Grissom, Steve
Leonard, Kathy
Paperback
$22.99
Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships
Faller, George, Lmft
Watson, Laurie, PhD
Hardcover
$30.40
8-Week Couples Therapy Workbook: Essential Strategies to Connect, Improve Communication, and Strengthen Your Relationship
Groubert, Jill Squyres, PhD
Paperback
$17.09
Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
Townsend, John
Cloud, Henry
Paperback
$18.99
The Neurodivergent Couple: The Neurodivergent Relationship Guide. Neurodivergent Love Partner. ADHD. Autism
Sullivan, Katherine
Paperback
$17.09
Cómo Curar Un Corazón Roto. Edición 10 Aniversario Tapa Dura / How to Heal a Broken Heart. 10th Anniversary Edition
Pérez Islas, Gaby
Hardcover
$22.75
True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life
Fileta, Debra K.
Paperback
$19.99
The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love
Fehr, Colette Jane, Lmft Lmhc
Hardcover
$28.50
Happy for the Long Haul: A Practical Guide to Creating a Marriage That Goes the Distance
Monk, Iona
Paperback
$18.95
Winning Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late: Whether She's Left Physically or Emotionally All That Matters Is...
Smalley, Greg
Smalley, Gary
Smalley, Deborah
Paperback
$18.99
New Marriage, Same Couple: Don't Let Your Worst Days Be Your Last Days
Walters, Katie
Walters, Josh
Paperback
$18.99