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Things You Can't Say at Work: Professional Translations for Completely Unprofessional Thoughts
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Oct 7 2026
Pages: 102
Weight: 0.24
Height: 0.21 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
Ever had a thought at work that absolutely could not be said out loud?
Tired of sitting through meetings that should have been emails? Typed per my last email with just a little too much aggression? Ever wondered how to tell a coworker what you're really thinking without ending up in an unexpected meeting with HR?
Things You Can't Say at Work: Professional Translations for Completely Unprofessional Thoughts is a brutally relatable workplace humor book for anyone who has ever had to smile, nod, and find a professional way to say what they actually mean.
Inside, you'll discover how to translate your most dangerous workplace thoughts into corporate-approved language:
- WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY -
Did you even read the email?
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
Just resurfacing the details from my previous message for visibility.
ACTUALLY THINKING:
I am begging you to scroll up six inches.
- WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY -
This meeting could have been an email.
WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY:
Could we capture the key takeaways and action items asynchronously?
ACTUALLY THINKING:
I have aged considerably since this meeting began.
But this isn't just a collection of workplace translations.
You'll also find corporate jargon decoders, meeting survival tools, passive-aggressive email translations, performance-review wisdom, questionable HR forms, and other essential resources for surviving another quarter without saying the thing that gets you fired.
Perfect For:
- Coworkers who have seen some things
- Managers desperately trying to remain professional
- Office workers fluent in corporate nonsense
- White Elephant and Secret Santa gifts
- Going-away, promotion, retirement, and new-job gifts
- Anyone who has ever heard Let's circle back and immediately lost the will to circle anywhere
From pointless meetings and Reply All disasters to bosses, HR, clients, performance reviews, and budget season, Things You Can't Say at Work finally says what everyone at work is thinking.
Well...
It professionally translates it.
Because apparently we're not allowed to just say it.
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