Sign-In
Cart
The Pursue-Withdraw Trap: Pursuer Distancer Dynamic Relationships - Breaking the Pursue-Withdraw Cycle and Finding Your Way Back to Each Other
Paperback
Publisher Price: $14.99
ISBN13: 9781804288160
Publisher: Readers First Publishing Ltd
Published: Sep 30 2026
Pages: 132
Weight: 0.41
Height: 0.28 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The belief that wanting more connection means you care more than your partner often obscures the real reason
one person chases while another retreats-a self-perpetuating cycle fueled by unspoken needs. Part of The
Bonded Self, Quentin Underbridge's insightful book explores the frustrating dynamic where attempts at
closeness trigger distance, and how this pattern undermines even the most loving relationships.
When a desire for connection becomes entangled with anxieties about control or abandonment, simple
interactions shift from neutral exchanges to charged tests of commitment-a subtle dance that escalates over
time. The Pursue-Withdraw Trap is not a relationship self-help guide promising instant fixes, a blame
assignment exercise identifying who's at fault, or a manual for dramatic interventions. Instead, it illuminates
the underlying emotional logic driving this cycle, revealing how both partners contribute to-and become
trapped by-its predictable patterns.
Through relatable examples of everyday interactions, you will explore the hidden dynamics at play:
- The Phantom Motorcycle: How seemingly innocuous excuses for distance actually serve as attempts to
regulate overwhelming feelings or maintain a sense of self.
By understanding these patterns-and recognizing your own contributions to them-you can begin to break
free from reactivity and foster genuine emotional safety with your partner. *The Pursue-Withdraw Trap* offers
a pathway toward mindful awareness, helping you shift from chasing or retreating to creating connection based
on mutual respect and authentic needs. Pick up *The Pursue-Withdraw Trap* now and start building a more secure and fulfilling relationship today.
Also in
Relationships
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video, Updated Edition: A Vision for Married and Single People
Keller, Kathy
Keller, Timothy
Paperback
A Guide to Open Water Lifesaving: Lessons on Love, Care, and Survival: A Memoir
Eubanks, Virginia
Hardcover
Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter
Young Phd, Jennie
Hardcover
Burn Book: Burn Book Mean Girls journal, Its full of secrets! - Blank Notebook/Journal - Mean Girls Notebook
George, Regina
Paperback
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--And Keep--Love
Heller, Rachel
Levine, Amir
Paperback
Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
Spade, Dean
Paperback
Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy
Atlas, Galit
Hardcover
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Piven, Joshua
Borgenicht, David
Hardcover
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Women: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Gottman, John, PhD
Silver, Nan
Paperback
Let's F*cking Date: Become the Prize, Enjoy the Ride, and Never Settle Again
Kerrigan, Serena
Hardcover
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
No More MR Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life
Glover, Robert A.
Hardcover
Why Am I Like This?: Break Your Relationship Patterns and Create the Life You Want
Zohar, Sabrina
Hardcover
Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Nagoski, Emily
Paperback
The Love Language(tm) That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It
Parrott, Leslie
Parrott, Les
Chapman, Gary
Paperback
The Balancing ACT: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself
Tawwab, Nedra Glover
Hardcover
I Have This Thing for Flowers: Essays on the Roots of Relationships
Sawchyn, Alysia Li Ying
Hardcover
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl--A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Argov, Sherry
Paperback
The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: Let Go of Toxic Bonds and Build Healthy Ones
Zebian, Najwa
Hardcover
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Gottman, John, PhD
Hardcover
Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--And How to Find Our Way Back
Clayton, Ingrid
Hardcover
Stand Firm and ACT Like Men: Becoming the Man You Were Created to Be Instead of Who the World Says You Are
Martin, Joby
Hardcover
You Are the One You've Been Waiting for: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
Schwartz, Richard C.
Paperback
The Autism Partner Handbook: How to Love an Autistic Person
Harper, Faith G.
Biel, Joe
Blue, Elly
Paperback
Together with Christ: A Dating Couples Devotional: 52 Devotions and Bible Studies to Nurture Your Relationship
Damon, Chelsea
Paperback
The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
Hardy, Janet W.
Easton, Dossie
Paperback
For Better and Worse: The Complicated Past and Challenging Future of Marriage
Coontz, Stephanie
Hardcover
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Steffens, Barbara
Means, Marsha
Paperback
The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships
Fern, Jessica
Paperback
How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
Lyubomirsky, Sonja
Reis, Harry
Hardcover
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship
Ruiz, Don Miguel
Mills, Janet
Paperback
So You Married a Human: The Totally Doable Unconventional Guide to a Thriving Partnership
Kelley, Jackie
Paperback
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - For Women Only: Be Happy With or Without a Man
Gray, John
Paperback
The Parent's Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child's Mental and Emotional Health Through a Breakup or Separation
Komisar, Erica
Paperback
The Forgotten Briefcase: The world knows her name. Few really knew her.
Perrulli, Joseph T.
Paperback
Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together
Driscoll, Mark
Driscoll, Grace
Paperback
How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion
Pueblo, Yung
Hardcover
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Abrams, Doug
Gottman, John
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Hardcover
The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love
Garcia, Justin R.
Hardcover
Los 5 Lenguajes del Amor (Revisado): El Secreto del Amor Que Perdura - Edición Estándar (Spanish Edition)
Chapman, Gary
Paperback
Mothering the New Mother: Women's Feelings & Needs After Childbirth: A Support and Resource Guide
Placksin, Sally
Paperback
Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last
Bellamy, Tom
Hardcover
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Orlov, Melissa
Paperback
Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
Money for Couples: No More Stress. No More Fights. Just a 10-Step Plan to Create Your Rich Life Together.
Sethi, Ramit
Paperback
The Deep-Rooted Marriage Companion Guide: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight
Call, Steve
Allender, Dan B.
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Paperback
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated: Nine Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Remarry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious Relationship Together
Couple, The Yoga
Ash, Mat &.
Micheletti, Ashley
Paperback
Strengthen Your Marriage: Personal Insights Into Your Relationship
Parrott, Les
Parrott, Leslie
Paperback
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
Eggerichs, Emerson
Hardcover
Seven Desires: Looking Past What Separates Us to Learn What Connects Us
Laaser, Mark
Laaser, Debra
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple's Devotional: A Year of Daily Devotions
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Hardcover
Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love in Committed Relationships
Gray, John
Paperback
The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst, Second Edition
Mays Lpc Csat-S, Michelle
Paperback
Generation Uncoupled: America's New Gender Divide and the Crisis of Human Connection
Cox, Daniel
Hardcover
Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings
Lunn, Natasha
Paperback
Calling in the One Revised and Expanded: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life
Thomas, Katherine Woodward
Paperback
A Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life's Storms (Itpe)
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
Spiritual Mismatch: Hope for Christians Married to Someone Who Doesn't Know God
Strobel, Lee
Strobel, Leslie
Paperback
His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage
Larimore, Barb
Larimore MD, Walt
Paperback
Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
Stringer, Jay
Hardcover
The Love Producer: My Unscripted Journey from a Reality TV Career to My Own Happily Ever After
Laplaca, Julie
Paperback
You Could Be Having Better Sex: The Definitive Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and Hotter Sex Life
McNichols, Nicole
Hardcover
Joy Isn't Canceled: What Grief Taught Us about Pain, Peace, and Purpose
Penavega, Carlos
Penavega, Alexa
Hardcover
Beyond Infidelity: How to Turn the End of Your Relationship Into the Beginning of Your Life
Larusso, Lauren, Lpc Lmhc
Hardcover
The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Poole Heller, Diane
Paperback
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Cloud, Henry
Townsend, John
Paperback
Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy
Cassidy, Mel
Paperback
Unfuck Your Intimacy Workbook: Using Science for Better Dating, Sex, and Relationships
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship
Doyle, Cyndi
Paperback
Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship
Thompson, Monique, Dha Lpc
Paperback
Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships
Faller, George, Lmft
Watson, Laurie, PhD
Hardcover
Divorce Care: Hope, Help, and Healing During and After Your Divorce
Grissom, Steve
Leonard, Kathy
Paperback
8-Week Couples Therapy Workbook: Essential Strategies to Connect, Improve Communication, and Strengthen Your Relationship
Groubert, Jill Squyres, PhD
Paperback
Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
Cloud, Henry
Townsend, John
Paperback
The Neurodivergent Couple: The Neurodivergent Relationship Guide. Neurodivergent Love Partner. ADHD. Autism
Sullivan, Katherine
Paperback
Cómo Curar Un Corazón Roto. Edición 10 Aniversario Tapa Dura / How to Heal a Broken Heart. 10th Anniversary Edition
Pérez Islas, Gaby
Hardcover
True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life
Fileta, Debra K.
Paperback
The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love
Fehr, Colette Jane, Lmft Lmhc
Hardcover
Happy for the Long Haul: A Practical Guide to Creating a Marriage That Goes the Distance
Monk, Iona
Paperback
Winning Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late: Whether She's Left Physically or Emotionally All That Matters Is...
Smalley, Deborah
Smalley, Greg
Smalley, Gary
Paperback
New Marriage, Same Couple: Don't Let Your Worst Days Be Your Last Days
Walters, Katie
Walters, Josh
Paperback