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How to Make Your Farts Smell Like Expensive Perfume: A Totally Legitimate Guide to Elevating Your Emissions
Paperback
Publisher: Nazimuddin Ahmed
Published: Aug 24 2026
Pages: 36
Weight: 0.12
Height: 0.09 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
Somewhere between weird flex and genuinely impressive, there's this book.
How to Make Your Farts Smell Like Expensive Perfume is the totally legitimate (it is not) guide to elevating your emissions from a punchline into a personal brand. Inside, you'll learn the ancient art of Fartfumery: a made-up discipline covering everything from a mock fragrance wheel, to a diet chart of greatest hits, to etiquette rules for weddings, elevators, and job interviews (spoiler: mostly don't).
Along the way you'll find a personality quiz to discover your scent type, a zodiac horoscope for your technique, a hall of fame of legendary incidents, fake testimonials, a final exam, and an official (not official) Certificate of Completion suitable for framing, or more likely, immediately losing.
This book won't teach you anything useful. It will, however, make an excellent gift for the person in your life who has everything - including, apparently, no filter.
Perfect for: white elephant parties, birthdays, coworkers who need to be told to stop, and anyone who has ever needed to blame the dog.
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