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Hell on $5 A Day: Book 1 of The New Heroes of Old(TM)
Paperback
Series: The New Heroes of Old(tm), Book 1
ISBN13: 9781971044002
Publisher: Bulmash Media LLC
Published: Jan 9 2026
Pages: 374
Weight: 1.10
Height: 0.77 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
---FULL KIRKUS REVIEW---A galloping, worlds-spanning adventure that Dante himself might have enjoyed.
Bulmash reimagines macabre archetypes in this paranormal thriller.
Alain Beaudreaux is essentially a good man turned bad after the U.S. Army transforms him into an undead vampire and sets him and the rest of his fanged-toothed unit loose against the Third Reich during World War II. It isn't long before the good-hearted Alain runs afoul of his own comrades and there's hell to pay within the ranks. Decades later, Alain comes to the rescue of a hapless normal man named Kurt Gray who's been kidnapped by a group of girls he met at a club to be used as a human sacrifice. Together, they're soon plunged into an interdimensional portal that opens pathways to the realms of Heaven and Hell-and to the entire multiverse beyond. Along the way, Kurt and his newly formed band of brothers are tasked with seeking an audience with God Almighty to petition for Alain's soul. The story is a two-fisted odyssey full of bone-crushing blows and skull-spitting hammerlocks. Bulmash lavishly choreographs each explosive obstacle in painstaking detail and unabashed gusto: Catching Reese's right arm as he swung it up to defend himself, Kurt held it away and rained down punch after punch at Reese's head. Fisticuffs are one thing, but readers should be forewarned that the author also has a penchant for the grisly and isn't afraid of going for the throat and tearing out a larynx or two. An early establishing scene involving Alain's initial transformation into a neo-Nosferatu is especially jarring-and so horrifically ghastly that some readers might seek immediate absolution from the nearest porcelain god they can get their arms around. Amid all the blood and guts, Bulmash serves up some nifty twists and trenchant observations about the nature of human existence.
A galloping, worlds-spanning adventure that Dante himself might have enjoyed.
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