Sign-In
Cart
Chess, Not Checkers: The Strategic Playbook for Fathers in High-Conflict Divorce
Paperback
General LawGeneral ParentingRelationships
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Sep 1 2026
Pages: 236
Weight: 0.61
Height: 0.54 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
You're not losing because you're a bad father. You're losing because nobody told you the rules.
Most men walk into a high-conflict divorce playing checkers. They react to the last move. They fire back at the message that just came in. They win the argument in front of them and lose ground they will never get back.
The other side is playing chess.
If you've stared at your phone at eleven at night trying to figure out how to respond to a message designed to make you explode, this book was written for you. If you've spent money you didn't have on a hearing that decided nothing. If you've wondered whether the record you're building would hold up, or whether anyone is actually paying attention. If you've felt the pull to fight every battle because backing down feels like losing your kids one inch at a time.
Chess, Not Checkers is a practical field guide to thinking three moves ahead when the stakes are your children, your finances, and your future.
Inside, you'll learn how to:
- Understand how the family court system actually works, and what it responds to
- Build a record that protects you before you need it
- Write every message as though a judge will read it, because one might
- Recognize bait for what it is, and make the non-response your strongest move
- Choose the battles worth fighting and let the rest go
- Work with attorneys, therapists, and evaluators instead of against them
- Manage your own emotions so you don't hand the other side your case
- Protect your children from a conflict they didn't choose
- Know what winning actually looks like, and what comes after
This is not a book about revenge, and it is not a book about rolling over. It is about discipline: the patience to stop reacting and start thinking, which is the single thing that separates the men who come through this intact from the men who don't.
Also from
Farmer, Tim
Grandpa on a Skateboard: The practicalities of assessing mental capacity and unwise decisions
Farmer, Tim
Paperback
Grandpa on a Skateboard: The Practicalities of Assessing Mental Capacity and Unwise Decisions, 4th Edition
Farmer, Tim
Paperback
Also in
Relationships
A Guide to Open Water Lifesaving: Lessons on Love, Care, and Survival: A Memoir
Eubanks, Virginia
Hardcover
Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter
Young Phd, Jennie
Hardcover
Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
Spade, Dean
Paperback
Burn Book: Burn Book Mean Girls journal, Its full of secrets! - Blank Notebook/Journal - Mean Girls Notebook
George, Regina
Paperback
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--And Keep--Love
Heller, Rachel
Levine, Amir
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video, Updated Edition: A Vision for Married and Single People
Keller, Kathy
Keller, Timothy
Paperback
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Women: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Borgenicht, David
Piven, Joshua
Hardcover
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Silver, Nan
Gottman, John, PhD
Paperback
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men: Seven Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Marry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The Love Language(tm) That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It
Parrott, Leslie
Parrott, Les
Chapman, Gary
Paperback
The Balancing ACT: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself
Tawwab, Nedra Glover
Hardcover
Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
Nagoski, Emily
Paperback
The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst
Mays Lpc Csat-S, Michelle
Paperback
No More MR Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life
Glover, Robert A.
Hardcover
Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--And How to Find Our Way Back
Clayton, Ingrid
Hardcover
I Have This Thing for Flowers: Essays on the Roots of Relationships
Sawchyn, Alysia Li Ying
Hardcover
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Gottman, John, PhD
Hardcover
Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy
Atlas, Galit
Hardcover
Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl--A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship
Argov, Sherry
Paperback
For Better and Worse: The Complicated Past and Challenging Future of Marriage
Coontz, Stephanie
Hardcover
Stand Firm and ACT Like Men: Becoming the Man You Were Created to Be Instead of Who the World Says You Are
Martin, Joby
Hardcover
How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
Reis, Harry
Lyubomirsky, Sonja
Hardcover
The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships
Fern, Jessica
Paperback
The Autism Partner Handbook: How to Love an Autistic Person
Harper, Faith G.
Biel, Joe
Blue, Elly
Paperback
The Ethical Slut, Third Edition: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
Hardy, Janet W.
Easton, Dossie
Paperback
The One Who Broke You Can't Heal You: Let Go of Toxic Bonds and Build Healthy Ones
Zebian, Najwa
Hardcover
You Are the One You've Been Waiting for: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
Schwartz, Richard C.
Paperback
The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love
Garcia, Justin R.
Hardcover
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - For Women Only: Be Happy With or Without a Man
Gray, John
Paperback
How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion
Pueblo, Yung
Hardcover
Together with Christ: A Dating Couples Devotional: 52 Devotions and Bible Studies to Nurture Your Relationship
Damon, Chelsea
Paperback
Smitten: Romantic Obsession, the Neuroscience of Limerence, and How to Make Love Last
Bellamy, Tom
Hardcover
The Parent's Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child's Mental and Emotional Health Through a Breakup or Separation
Komisar, Erica
Paperback
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Steffens, Barbara
Means, Marsha
Paperback
Let's F*cking Date: Become the Prize, Enjoy the Ride, and Never Settle Again
Kerrigan, Serena
Hardcover
The Forgotten Briefcase: The world knows her name. Few really knew her.
Perrulli, Joseph T.
Paperback
Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together
Driscoll, Grace
Driscoll, Mark
Paperback
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship
Ruiz, Don Miguel
Mills, Janet
Paperback
Los 5 Lenguajes del Amor (Revisado): El Secreto del Amor Que Perdura - Edición Estándar (Spanish Edition)
Chapman, Gary
Paperback
Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Gottman, John
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Abrams, Doug
Hardcover
The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious Relationship Together
Micheletti, Ashley
Couple, The Yoga
Ash, Mat &.
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Paperback
Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated: Nine Questions to Ask Before---And After---You Remarry
Parrott, Les And Leslie
Paperback
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Orlov, Melissa
Paperback
Money for Couples: No More Stress. No More Fights. Just a 10-Step Plan to Create Your Rich Life Together.
Sethi, Ramit
Paperback
Mothering the New Mother: Women's Feelings & Needs After Childbirth: A Support and Resource Guide
Placksin, Sally
Paperback
Unfuck Your Intimacy: Using Science for Better Relationships, Sex, and Dating
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
Calling in the One Revised and Expanded: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life
Thomas, Katherine Woodward
Paperback
Strengthen Your Marriage: Personal Insights Into Your Relationship
Parrott, Les
Parrott, Leslie
Paperback
His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage
Larimore, Barb
Larimore MD, Walt
Paperback
Conversations on Love: Lovers, Strangers, Parents, Friends, Endings, Beginnings
Lunn, Natasha
Paperback
Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
Eggerichs, Emerson
Hardcover
Why Am I Like This?: Break Your Relationship Patterns and Create the Life You Want
Zohar, Sabrina
Hardcover
Beyond Infidelity: How to Turn the End of Your Relationship Into the Beginning of Your Life
Larusso, Lauren
Hardcover
Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship
Doyle, Cyndi
Paperback
Seven Desires: Looking Past What Separates Us to Learn What Connects Us
Laaser, Debra
Laaser, Mark
Paperback
You Could Be Having Better Sex: The Definitive Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and Hotter Sex Life
McNichols, Nicole
Hardcover
Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Cloud, Henry
Townsend, John
Paperback
A Making Your Marriage a Fortress: Strengthening Your Marriage to Withstand Life's Storms (Itpe)
Thomas, Gary
Paperback
New Marriage, Same Couple: Don't Let Your Worst Days Be Your Last Days
Walters, Josh
Walters, Katie
Paperback
The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple's Devotional: A Year of Daily Devotions
Keller, Timothy
Keller, Kathy
Hardcover
Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
Stringer, Jay
Hardcover
Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love in Committed Relationships
Gray, John
Paperback
The Love Producer: My Unscripted Journey from a Reality TV Career to My Own Happily Ever After
Laplaca, Julie
Paperback
The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst, Second Edition
Mays Lpc Csat-S, Michelle
Paperback
So You Married a Human: The Totally Doable Unconventional Guide to a Thriving Partnership
Kelley, Jackie
Paperback
New Marriage, Same Couple Workbook: Don't Let Your Worst Days Be Your Last Days
Walters, Josh
Walters, Katie
Paperback
The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Poole Heller, Diane
Paperback
The Deep-Rooted Marriage Companion Guide: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight
Allender, Dan B.
Call, Steve
Paperback
The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love
Fehr, Colette Jane, Lmft Lmhc
Hardcover
Radical Relating: A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy
Cassidy, Mel
Paperback
More Than Two, Second Edition: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity
Zanin, Andrea
Rickert, Eve
Hardcover
Unfuck Your Intimacy Workbook: Using Science for Better Dating, Sex, and Relationships
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship
Davis, Kc
Hardcover
Spiritual Mismatch: Hope for Christians Married to Someone Who Doesn't Know God
Strobel, Leslie
Strobel, Lee
Paperback
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
Gray, John
Paperback
Divorce Care: Hope, Help, and Healing During and After Your Divorce
Leonard, Kathy
Grissom, Steve
Paperback
Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage: Trusting God with Your Most Important Relationship
Berndt, Jodie
Paperback
Future Husband, Present Prayers: How Praying While You Wait Transforms Your Singleness and Prepares You for Marriage
Bevere, Christian
Paperback
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship
Kirshenbaum, Mira
Paperback
Winning Your Wife Back Before It's Too Late: Whether She's Left Physically or Emotionally All That Matters Is...
Smalley, Gary
Smalley, Deborah
Smalley, Greg
Paperback
Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
Cloud, Henry
Townsend, John
Paperback
8-Week Couples Therapy Workbook: Essential Strategies to Connect, Improve Communication, and Strengthen Your Relationship
Groubert, Jill Squyres, PhD
Paperback
Lightbulb Moments in Marriage: 12 Biblical Perspectives for Successful and Satisfied Couples
Eggerichs, Emerson
Hardcover