Sign-In
Cart
The Burton and Jazz Chronicles: Annual Staff Performance Review (2020-2026)
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: May 29 2026
Pages: 152
Weight: 0.42
Height: 0.38 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The garbage is not a waste bin; it is a suggestion box. And I have many suggestions. - Burton, CEO
Ever feel like your cat doesn't just rule the roost, but actually runs your life like a demanding corporate dictator? Welcome to the Dalhousie Branch Headquarters, located high on the 14th floor, where the corporate ladder is made of carpeted pillars and the legal tender is paid exclusively in wet food gravy.
In Burton and Jazz Chronicles: Annual Staff Performance Reviews, retired educator and cozy mystery author Sarah Champion shares the hilarious, highly classified files of her life as an underpaid Senior Kibble Technician. Spanning 2020 to 2026, this witty collection of incident reports, strategic field observations, and exhausted staff reflections documents a hilarious struggle for domestic sovereignty.
Inside this performance audit, you'll discover the inner workings of a high-altitude feline monopoly:
Meet the Executive Board: Burton, a 15-pound Garbage Can CEO black cat who rules by sheer mass, and Jazz, a 7.5-pound grey-and-white Picky Princess COO who enforces a strict 4:30 AM breakfast mandate using precision needle-point claw stimulus.
The Logistical Triumphs & Corporate Outages: Read the true case files behind The Three-Minute Migration, The Keyboard Blockade, the legendary Day the Grocery Bag Fought Back, and the catastrophic accidental engagement of the Power Button of Absolute Silence.
The Official Glossary of Executive Terms: Learn the true translation of everyday chaos, from the grueling 28-Flight Cardio Fire Drill to the mathematically precise layout requirements of the Belly Rub Protocol.
Perfect for fans of Simon's Cat, I Could Pee on This, or anyone who has ever had their manuscript ghostwritten by a wandering paw, this book is a heartwarming and laugh-out-loud tribute to the brilliant, demanding, and deeply loved cats who really run the show.
Also from
Champion, Sarah
Also in
Humor
I Can't Believe I Did That: The Game That Gives You Points for Sharing Awkward, Awesome, and Unforgettable Memories: Card Games
Nadelberg, David
Katcher, Neil
Other
The Science Magpie: Fascinating Facts, Stories, Poems, Diagrams and Jokes Plucked from Science
Flynn, Simon
Paperback
Fixing Flamingos: And Other Solutions to the World's Least Pressing Problems
Rea, Brian
Brown, Lucienne
Paperback
How to Be a Cat: (Cat Books for Kids, Cat Gifts for Kids, Cat Picture Book)
Swerling, Lisa
Lazar, Ralph
Hardcover
The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason
Chapo Trap House
Hardcover
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
Hardcover
How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself
Lawson, Jenny
Hardcover
Bake It Off: An Unofficial Taylor Swift-Inspired Cookbook for Every Era, from Breakfast to Midnights
Smith, Lindsey
Hardcover
Big Fan: Two Friends, 82,490 Miles, and the Wild, Wonderful Sports We Love
Posnanski, Joe
Schur, Michael
Hardcover
Pardon My Book: Ten Years of the Best (and Worst) in Sports from Pardon My Take
Big Cat
Commenter, Pft
Hardcover
Wtf America?!: The Way Out of This Hell and Back to Democracy
Meiselas, Ben
Meiselas, Brett
Meiselas, Jordy
Hardcover
Black Out Loud: The Revolutionary History of Black Comedy from Vaudeville to '90s Sitcoms
Bennett, Geoff
Hardcover
How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up: Big Lessons from Little Kids
Shapiro-Barnum, Julian
Hardcover
We Are the World (Cup): A Personal History of the World's Greatest Sporting Event
Bennett, Roger
Hardcover
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
Adams, Douglas
Paperback
Not Today, Fascists: The Lies That Got Us Here, and the Truths That Will Reunite Us
Welch, Jennifer
Hardcover
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Borgenicht, David
Piven, Joshua
Hardcover
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
Auburn, Zachary
Paperback
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die (New York Times Bestseller)
Condo, Messie
Hardcover