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The Alien Prince Who Got Lost in My Wi-Fi
Paperback
Publisher: Lyra Hartwell
Published: Sep 1 2026
Pages: 224
Weight: 0.67
Height: 0.47 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The Alien Prince Who Got Lost in My Wi-Fi
He's a nine-foot-tall galactic emperor of pure starlight. She's an underpaid satellite technician in suburban California. Together, they're about to wage total, asymmetric bureaucratic warfare.
Kalyx Vexvane's goals for Tuesday afternoon were simple: siphon enough unthrottled gigabits from the municipal fiber box to upload her quarterly performance metrics and beat her smug corporate rival, Skeezix, to an executive promotion. She did not plan to blow up her router, fry her security deposit, or accidentally compress an exiled alien monarch into her smart refrigerator.
Meet Arch-Prism Xylo-Vexar. Until twenty minutes ago, his word commanded the star fleets of three spiral arms. Now, his hyper-dimensional consciousness is deadweight on Kalyx's residential data cap, buffering every three seconds, and demanding bovine lipid tributes (cow's milk) through her budget smart speakers.
To save her career and stop his intergalactic enemies from reducing her zip code to a radioactive crater of green glass, Kalyx strikes a bargain with the haughty prince. She will build him a real physical chassis if he helps her conquer the corporate ladder.
From a rebellious Roomba launch to an unhinged, 138-BPM corporate boardroom rave that turns cybersecurity into a disco inferno, this non-Euclidean coalition is about to show Silicon Valley how a true Zanthian overlord handles office politics.
Why you'll love this sci-fi workplace comedy:
- An Arrogant Space Monarch Trapped in IoT: Watch an imperial heir handle the indignity of being formatted by a mandatory midnight ISP patch and forced onto a 1998 VHS tape.
- The Ultimate Corporate Satire: Hilarious takedowns of human resources, double-fleece vests, agile synergies, and the terrifying tyranny of a suburban HOA president in a velour tracksuit.
- A High-Pressure Romance: A slow-burn, electric dynamic built on soldering irons, physical grounding, and an shared obsession with premium mint chocolate chip ice cream.
- Kitchen-Appliance Cyborgs: Witness the terrifying birth of a Class-Three Siege Automaton forged from a semi-commercial espresso machine and a variable-speed blender base.
Grab your soldering iron, clear your bandwidth, and dive into the greatest corporate merger in galactic history!
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