Sign-In
Cart
Suffocating in Plain Sight: Understanding Toxic Relationships, Cultural Silence, and the Courage to Leave
Paperback
ISBN13: 9781066761340
Publisher: Ajibade Academic Publishing
Published: Jun 30 2026
Pages: 286
Weight: 0.85
Height: 0.60 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
What is happening to you is not your fault.
Emotional abuse without physical violence is among the most serious, and most consistently misread, forms of intimate partner harm. It leaves no bruise that a doctor can photograph, no incident that a friend can point to. It leaves people exhausted, confused, and convinced that something is wrong with them, when the truth is that something has been done to them.
Drawing on more than two decades of clinical practice and academic teaching in mental health nursing, Dr Benjamin Ajibade examines why coercive control is so difficult to name, why leaving is never as simple as walking away, and what genuine recovery actually requires.
Suffocating in Plain Sight moves through three movements. The first names what emotional abuse is, why it hides in plain sight even from the person living inside it, and what it does to the body and brain over time. The second examines the real barriers to leaving: cultural silence, religious teaching weaponised to demand endurance, financial entrapment, the impossible calculus of children, and the slow erosion of identity that makes a person forget who they were before. The third turns toward what comes after: the mental health cost of staying, the long and often non-linear process of deciding to go, and what courage and recovery actually look like once the decision has been made.
Each chapter is grounded in composite case studies drawn from clinical experience and the published research literature, spanning a deliberately wide range of genders, cultures, faiths, and circumstances. This is a book that refuses to treat intimate partner abuse as a single story. It is written for:
- Anyone in or near a relationship that has started to feel like it is taking more than it gives
- Healthcare professionals, mental health nurses, social workers, and counsellors who want to ask better questions
- Racially minoritised communities, where cultural and religious silence can make harm harder to name and leave
- Faith leaders and educators who are often the first point of contact for someone in crisis
- Readers of the author's memoir, Love Is Not Enough, who want to go deeper into the dynamics it explored
Suffocating in Plain Sight does not offer easy answers. It offers something more durable: an honest, rigorously researched account of how harm is sustained, what makes it so hard to see, and what it takes, slowly and imperfectly, to choose yourself.
Written with declarative precision and humanity... Ajibade names what has been suffocating in plain sight, without pathologising the people or the cultures he writes about.
- Professor Catherine Hayes, Professor of Health Professions Pedagogy and Scholarship
Also from
Ajibade, Benjamin Olusola
Love Is Not Enough: One Man's Journey From Poverty to Purpose and Everything Marriage Taught Me Along the Way
Ajibade, Benjamin Olusola
Paperback
Invisible in Care: Race, Ageing, and the Fight for Dignity in the Care Home System
Ajibade, Benjamin Olusola
Paperback
The Feedback Gap: Rethinking Assessment for Equity: The Ajibade Theory of Equitable Assessment
Ajibade, Benjamin Olusola
Paperback
Also in
Mental Health
The ADHD Workbook for Kids: Helping Children Gain Self-Confidence, Social Skills, & Self-Control
Shapiro, Lawrence E.
Paperback
The Chemistry of Joy Workbook: Overcoming Depression Using the Best of Brain Science, Nutrition, and the Psychology of Mindfulness
Emmons, Henry
Paperback
The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness [With CD]
Williams, Mark
Teasdale, John
Segal, Zindel
Paperback
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Van Der Kolk, Bessel
Paperback
Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
Haidt, Jonathan
Hardcover
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Koga, Fumitake
Kishimi, Ichiro
Paperback
A Guide to Open Water Lifesaving: Lessons on Love, Care, and Survival: A Memoir
Eubanks, Virginia
Hardcover
The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life
Warren MD W. Lee
Hardcover
Unlearn Your Pain: The Science of Recovering from Chronic Pain, Fatigue, Anxiety, and Depression
Schubiner, Howard, MD
Hardcover
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (Revised and Updated)
Beattie, Melody
Paperback
How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage
Harwood, Eli, M. a. Lpc
Hardcover
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents
Lebowitz, Eli R.
Paperback
The Digital Delusion: How Classroom Technology Harms Our Kids' Learning--And How to Help Them Thrive Again; Updated Edition
Cooney Horvath, Jared, PhD Med
Paperback
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical Dbt Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, a
McKay, Matthew
Wood, Jeffrey C.
Brantley, Jeffrey
Paperback
Your Ocd Will Hate This Book: A Proven System to Overcome Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Take Back Your Life
Peterson, Nathan
Hardcover
It's Ok That You're Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
Devine, Megan
Paperback
The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole
Schwartz, Arielle, PhD
Paperback
Why We Fight: A Transformative Road Map to Healing Conflict in Any Relationship
Polinder, Kim
Hardcover
Why Does Everybody Hate Me?: Living and Loving with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Partridge, Alex
Paperback
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD: Proven Strategies to Succeed at Work, at Home, and in Relationships
Barkley, Russell A.
Paperback
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
Menakem, Resmaa
Paperback
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Wolynn, Mark
Paperback
How Will I Ever Get Through This?: Evidence-Based Tools to Help You Heal from Hardship, Grief, and Loss
Hone, Lucy
Paperback
El Cuerpo Lleva La Cuenta: Cerebro, Mente Y Cuerpo En La Superación del Trauma / The Body Keeps the Score
Van Der Kolk, Bessel
Paperback
The Success Trap: How the Pressure to Stand Out Is Fueling Anxiety, Depression, and Burnout in Teens--And the Fundamental Fix They Deserve
Slavin, Stuart, MD Med
Hardcover
When the Ache Remains: Lessons on Tending to the Unfixable and Finding Beauty Anyway
Olivera, Lisa
Hardcover
Overcoming the Wall of Awful: Why It's Hard to Get Things Done with Adhd, Autism, and Anxiety (and How to Do Them Anyway)
Mahan Med MS, Brendan
Capell, Alex Hughes
Hardcover
Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You!
Hamdani, Sasha
Hardcover
The Internal Family Systems Workbook: A Guide to Discover Your Self and Heal Your Parts
Schwartz, Richard C.
Paperback
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence---From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Herman, Judith Lewis
Paperback
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Winfrey, Oprah
Perry, Bruce D., M. D. PH. D.
Hardcover
The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD: Cultivate Self-Compassion, Live Authentically, and Be Your Own Advocate
Kemp, Jennifer
Mitchelson, Monique
Paperback
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief Workbook: Tools for Releasing Pain and Remembering with Love
Kessler, David
Paperback
The Biology of Trauma: How the Body Holds Fear, Pain, and Overwhelm, and How to Heal It
Apigian, Aimie
Hardcover
Ungrateful Immigrant Daughter: A Memoir from the Child of a Mail-Order Bride
Suvorova, Katya
Paperback
The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Your Life
Free CCC, Jenna
Hardcover
Once I Get Started: The Adult ADHD Program for Turning Your Intentions Into Actions
Ramsay, Russell, PH. D.
Hardcover
Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids
Elkins, Meredith, PhD
Elkins, Meredith, PhD
Hardcover
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Van Der Kolk, Bessel
Hardcover
Where Do You Feel That in Your Body?: Moving Beyond Talk Therapy to Understand the Language of the Nervous System
Saunders, Simone
Hardcover
One in Five: Why Child Sexual Abuse Is Our Biggest Public Health Crisis--And What We Can Do to Stop It
Letourneau, Elizabeth J.
Malone, Luke
Hardcover
Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think
Padesky, Christine A.
Greenberger, Dennis
Paperback
Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences
Levine, Peter A.
Paperback
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Koga, Fumitake
Kishimi, Ichiro
Hardcover
The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit: Embrace Your Authentic Self and Harness Your True Potential
Moryoussef, Kate
Hardcover
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers
Kleiman, Karen
Hardcover
How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It)
McCabe, Jessica
Hardcover
Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
Murthy, Vivek H.
Paperback
Therapy Nation: How America Got Hooked on Therapy and Why It's Left Us More Anxious and Divided
Alpert, Jonathan
Hardcover
Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Hayes, Steven C.
Paperback
Ungrateful Immigrant Daughter: A Memoir from the Child of a Mail-Order Bride
Suvorova, Katya
Hardcover
Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to Overcome Anxiety, Panic, and Worry
Pittman, Catherine M.
Karle, Elizabeth M.
Paperback
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Mason, Paul T. T.
Kreger, Randi
Paperback
I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality
Straus, Hal
Kreisman, Jerold J.
Paperback
Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!
Neff, Megan Anna
Hardcover
Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists
Fisher, Janina
Paperback
Girlhood, Translated: Understanding Young Women in the Age of Therapy Speak and Self-Diagnosis
Garfinkle-Crowell, Suzanne, M. D.
Hardcover
Your Anxiety Is Giving Me Anxiety: A Survival Guide for Thriving in a High-Stress World
April, Elizabeth
Paperback
Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A Cbt-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts
Seif, Martin N.
Winston, Sally M.
Paperback
Unfuck Your Brain Workbook: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
The Road Less Traveled, Timeless Edition: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
Peck, M. Scott
Paperback
MANUAL SUPERANDO PÉRDIDAS EMOCIONALES, vigésimo aniversario, edición extendida: programa de acción para superar la muerte, el divorcio y otras pérdida
Friedman, Russell
James, John W.
Paperback
The Unfragile Mind: A Physician's Call for Restoring Hope and Humanity to Mental Health Care
Francis, Gavin
Hardcover
A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers
Frank, Michelle
Solden, Sari
Paperback
Mind Drama: The Science of Rumination and How to Outwit Your Inner Defeatist
Nakazawa, Donna Jackson
Hardcover
ADHD and Women: A Guide to Optimizing Your Hormones and Thriving with ADHD
Brighten, Jolene
Hardcover
Even the Darkest Night: A Father's Journey of Hope and Healing from Paternal Depression
Choukalas, Christopher G., MD
Hardcover
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
Orlov, Melissa
Paperback
Mind Your Body: A Revolutionary Program to Release Chronic Pain and Anxiety
Sachs, Nicole J., Lcsw
Hardcover
Thriving with ADHD Workbook for Kids: 60 Fun Activities to Help Children Self-Regulate, Focus, and Succeed
Miller, Kelli, Lcsw MSW
Paperback
Why We Suffer and How We Heal: Using Narrative, Ritual, and Purpose to Flourish Through Life's Challenges
Song, Suzan, MD PhD
Hardcover
Enciende Tu Cerebro: La Clave Para La Felicidad, La Manera de Pensar Y La Salud
Leaf, Dra Caroline
Paperback
Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind
Brewer, Judson
Paperback
Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety
Gillihan, Seth J., PhD
Paperback
Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD
Rosier Tamara Phd
Paperback
Actually, You're Fine: A Compassionate, Practical Guide to Maximizing Your Child's Potential in the Age of Anxiety
Davis, Katie S.
Hardcover
Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing
McBride, Hillary L., PhD
McBride, Hillary L., PhD
Paperback
Freedom from Panic: Evidence-Based Techniques to End Avoidance and Stop Panic Before It Stops You
Zucker, Bonnie
Paperback
Artistry of the Mentally Ill: A Contribution to the Psychology and Psychopathology of Configuration
Prinzhorn, Hans
Paperback
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Winfrey, Oprah
Perry, Bruce D., M. D. PH. D.
Paperback
Living Well with Adult ADHD: Practical Strategies for Improving Your Daily Life
Knouse, Laura E.
Barkley, Russell A.
Paperback
I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Real, Terrence
Paperback
Ifs (Internal Family Systems) Health Therapy: Treating Trauma-Related Physical Illness & Toxic Stress
Sowell, Nancy
Sweezy, Martha
Schwartz, Richard C.
Paperback
Strength beyond the Shadows: Overcoming a Childhood of Trauma, Neglect, and Sexual Abuse
Gehle, Seth
Paperback
Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday
Sockolov, Matthew
Paperback
How to Thrive at College: A Guide to the Ups and Downs of Mental Health on Campus
Ross, Mathilde
Paperback
Anxiety Relief for Kids: On-The-Spot Strategies to Help Your Child Overcome Worry, Panic, and Avoidance
Walker, Bridget Flynn
Paperback
You're Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships
Carder, Kristen
Hardcover
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your Bpd
Fox, Daniel J.
Paperback
Psychedelic Medicine & Internal Family Systems (Ifs) Therapy: A Clinical Skills Manual
Lovas, David
Schwartz, Richard C.
Sweezy, Martha
Paperback
You Can't Be Brave Until You're Scared: A Call for Courageous Women to Face Fear, Fight Anxiety, and Awaken Holy Awe
Connolly, Jess
Paperback
Pure O Ocd: Letting Go of Obsessive Thoughts with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Lejeune, Chad
Paperback
Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better (Updated with Two New Chapters)
Hansen, Brant
Paperback
The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection Through Embodied Living
McBride, Hillary L., PhD
Paperback
The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance
Spinelli, Frank
Paperback
Nervous Systems: Spiritual Practices to Calm Anxiety in Your Body, the Church, and Politics
Billups, Sara
Paperback
DSM-5-TR Insanely Simplified: Unlocking the Spectrums within DSM-5-TR and ICD-10
Cruz, Leonard
Buser, Steven
Paperback
The Lies We Tell Ourselves: How to Face the Truth, Accept Yourself, and Create a Better Life
Frederickson, Jon
Paperback