The Retirement Survival Guide: What Nobody Tells You About the First Year, and the Bits That Actually Help
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Sep 4 2026
Pages: 88
Weight: 0.25
Height: 0.18 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
Everyone at the leaving do will tell you it is the best years of your life. Almost none of them are retired. This is the honest version, written for the year that starts on the Monday after your last Friday.
Who it is for. Anyone who has just retired, and anyone standing in a shop at lunchtime looking for a leaving present that is funny but not rubbish.
What is inside:
- What everyone tells you, and which bits are actually true
- The first week, the first month, and the month that catches people out
- What to write in a retirement card, when the envelope reaches your desk in 10 minutes
- The kit that helps, and the presents that go straight in a drawer
- What people say at a leaving do, and what they mean
- Checklists for before your last day and the fortnight after it
- A short, serious chapter on when to get real help, with numbers that have been checked
A few lines from inside:
Deborah organised the whip-round, because Deborah organises everything, and Deborah is 11 down on it and will never mention this to anyone.
For about five weeks you are the most productive you've been since 2009, and all of it is bins. Then you run out of shed.
Nobody rings you on a Tuesday about nothing. Nothing is the entire genre and it has been cancelled.
Not 'you'll be missed'. Try 'the office is going to be a lot quieter without someone shouting at the printer'.
Funny on top, genuinely useful underneath. There is no financial advice in it, on purpose, and no jokes about knees, memory or not being able to work the internet.
The first in the Home Truths Survival Guides.
Also in
Humor
I Can't Believe I Did That: The Game That Gives You Points for Sharing Awkward, Awesome, and Unforgettable Memories: Card Games
Nadelberg, David
Katcher, Neil
Other
The Science Magpie: Fascinating Facts, Stories, Poems, Diagrams and Jokes Plucked from Science
Flynn, Simon
Paperback
Fixing Flamingos: And Other Solutions to the World's Least Pressing Problems
Brown, Lucienne
Rea, Brian
Paperback
How to Be a Cat: (Cat Books for Kids, Cat Gifts for Kids, Cat Picture Book)
Lazar, Ralph
Swerling, Lisa
Hardcover
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
Hardcover
How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself
Lawson, Jenny
Hardcover
Bake It Off: An Unofficial Taylor Swift-Inspired Cookbook for Every Era, from Breakfast to Midnights
Smith, Lindsey
Hardcover
Big Fan: Two Friends, 82,490 Miles, and the Wild, Wonderful Sports We Love
Schur, Michael
Posnanski, Joe
Hardcover
Black Out Loud: The Revolutionary History of Black Comedy from Vaudeville to '90s Sitcoms
Bennett, Geoff
Hardcover
We Are the World (Cup): A Personal History of the World's Greatest Sporting Event
Bennett, Roger
Hardcover
Pardon My Book: Ten Years of the Best (and Worst) in Sports from Pardon My Take
Big Cat
Commenter, Pft
Hardcover
How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up: Big Lessons from Little Kids
Shapiro-Barnum, Julian
Hardcover
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
Adams, Douglas
Paperback
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Piven, Joshua
Borgenicht, David
Hardcover
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
Auburn, Zachary
Paperback
Not Today, Fascists: The Lies That Got Us Here, and the Truths That Will Reunite Us
Welch, Jennifer
Hardcover
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die (New York Times Bestseller)
Condo, Messie
Hardcover
