Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley door pickup 10am - 7pm 3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
612-822-4611

  • Open Daily: 10am - 10pm
    Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm

    3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
    612-822-4611

Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm
3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
612-822-4611
On Hold

On Hold

Baum, Bruce

Paperback

Humor

ISBN10: 1453662677
ISBN13: 9781453662670
Publisher: Createspace
Published: Jul 31 2010
Pages: 122
Weight: 0.49
Height: 0.26 Width: 7.52 Depth: 9.25
Language: English
I want my ears back! What's next, my nose? When you call someone and they put you on hold, they are in control of you. Maybe it's because I was raised in the land of the free that this irks everything irkable in me. Would you allow a clerk in a store to grab you by the ears as soon as you walked in and hold you in place until they were ready to talk to you? While they talked to someone else? At the very least, that might be temporary involuntary imprisonment, or some kind of mild kidnapping. I think you could almost go to jail for that. Why then, do we allow, indeed, make it legal, on the phone? As angry as I got, I couldn't continue yelling at innocent furniture while I was on hold. I'm sure it's bad for me, and it can't be good for my furniture. In an effort to turn my aggravating conundrum into something possibly positive, I conducted, and funded with loose change, an independent experimental stress- release study. When I was put on hold, I would write. Whatever came to mind. Just let my head roam range-free. Short stories that I might come back to, quick thoughts, poems, blurps, ideas, frustrations -- whatever popped into my head was in-bounds. My phone and my computer would become my laboratory. My pants would remain my pants. Therefore, this book is a diary, if you will, of my time spent on hold during Phase One of my amateur mental-health experiment, designed to turn frustrating hostility into an unfettered, rumpled voice. A little taste of ON HOLD: It was 892 and everyone was playing Smack The Lout invented by Dylan Puddler. Tag, Your It was his. So was Ring Around The Rosey. His unsuccessful efforts include Lick the Oaf and Make Him Cry, Hide The Fish and No, You Kiss It.

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