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No Reptiles Before Lunch
Paperback
Series: No Reptiles, Book 1
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jun 5 2026
Pages: 280
Weight: 0.83
Height: 0.59 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Billy Vance's life was simple: catch gators, crush funnel cakes, and help Uncle Cletus keep the trailer lot running. Then a bootleg arcade cabinet zapped him straight into Class 2-D of a Tokyo high school.
Now he's got thirty days to find a way home before the portal closes for good. Thanks to a glitched translation filter, his Florida slang comes out like dramatic kabuki theater, his lucky yellow clogs are suddenly legendary gear, and his fourteen-inch alligator, Mr. Snappy, has been turned into an adorable chibi mascot the entire school is obsessed with.
To survive the countdown, Billy teams up with a hyper-strict student council president, a giant baker with scarred hands, and a warlock who bought his eyepatch at a convenience store.
A cozy, hilarious GameLit portal fantasy packed with viral chibi alligators, interdimensional pastry drops, and zero reptiles before lunch.
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