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Neko: Nine Lives of a Warlord Cat
Paperback
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Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 176
Weight: 0.36
Height: 0.44 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
Nine lives. Eight of them went fine. This one has a laser pointer.
Neko has been a temple cat in the Himalayas, a ship's cat, and a samurai-era warlord with generals who feared him. He has conquered neighborhoods, negotiated treaties with his forehead, and filed one unfortunate ginger coat as a personal war crime.
Now the void has issued his ninth and final life - FINAL ALLOCATION. PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY - and he would like to speak to a manager.
What he gets instead is a barn, a cardboard box, and a man with a blurry face who cooks instant noodles and sits on the floor because the chair is not his. The war is over. Nobody has informed Neko. So he annexes the Bavarian hills, relocates his command to Berlin, and opens hostilities against a sealed rice jar, a sheet of aluminium foil, and a fly that wins an engagement he will record as a draw. Next door lives a tubby tabby named Simba who bounces, speaks in actual words, and introduces his stuffed mouse as family.
And two streets over, a gray-and-white cat has begun leaving him gifts. A sparrow. A vole. A pebble.
He has filed these as reconnaissance, poison, and a supply-chain test.
He has never been more wrong about anything. He has been wrong for nine lives.
Filed under: ongoing.
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