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Interstellar Ransom: Operationally Undefined Outcomes
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 3 2026
Pages: 180
Weight: 0.55
Height: 0.41 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The worst kidnapping in galactic history. The worst president in human history. A match made in deep space.
Grix and Sprock have exactly four months to accomplish something-anything-before the Tribunal of Worth exiles them to Scoriax, a moon so depressing even the ammonia winds sound bored. Their solution? Kidnap the President of the United States and demand a ransom so staggering the Tribunal will have no choice but to send them to a parade instead.
The plan works perfectly, except... the abduction is a disaster.
Brock Sterling-golden-haired, broad-shouldered, and absolutely convinced this is a publicity stunt-boards their ship willingly. Within hours he's renamed the navigation console, turned the ship's sarcastic AI into his campaign manager, and wedged himself into machinery designed for beings with fewer elbows. Back on Earth, the response is a politely worded form letter explaining that the situation is being monitored. Meanwhile, the government runs smoother than ever.
Now Grix and Sprock are trapped in deep space with the one man the universe seems desperate to keep. The ransom demands go unanswered. The re-election campaign launches from the ship's cramped galley. And somewhere in the chaos, the aliens realize the terrible truth: some hostages are harder to return than others.
Interstellar Ransom: Operationally Undefined Outcomes is an absurdist science fiction comedy about incompetence, bureaucracy, and the discovery that sometimes the worst plan is the only one you've got. Perfect anyone who's ever looked at the news and thought: the aliens can keep him.
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