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I Don't Carrot All: A tale of personal growth, give or take an inch.
Paperback
Series: Depressed Produce, Book 1
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 18 2026
Pages: 34
Weight: 0.23
Height: 0.09 Width: 8.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
The picture book for adults who peaked in a garden bed and never fully recovered.
This is Garrett. Garrett is a carrot. Garrett has been in the ground for six weeks and has not grown at all. He had dreams once - he was going to be a soup. A good soup. A meaningful soup. Maybe with a little thyme.
He did not become the soup.
I Don't Carrot All is a deadpan illustrated book about a small, existentially composed carrot navigating a world that keeps offering him unsolicited opinions (mostly from kale), ignoring him (the gardener), and reconsidering him (the rabbit). Equal parts absurdist humour, botanical nihilism, and a genuinely touching - if deeply reluctant - story about growth.
The perfect gag gift for the gardener who takes it personally when something doesn't grow, anyone told to root for yourself, and fans of dry humour and vegetable puns.
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