Sign-In
Cart
How to Survive Being 3: By A Four-Year-Old Who Has Seen Some Things
Paperback
Series: How to Survive Being
Currently unavailable to order
Please enter your email and a message will be sent to you when this product becomes available on our website.
Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 34
Weight: 0.23
Height: 0.09 Width: 8.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
The ultimate milestone birthday gift for newly minted three-year-olds... and a hilarious survival guide for the exhausted parents who have to raise them.
Listen up, rookie. Yesterday, you were a baby. You could just lie there, drool on your shirt, and get whatever you wanted. Those days are over. Now, the Big People expect you to do things. Hard things. Like putting your own shoes on the correct feet.
Written from the perspective of a world-weary four-year-old veteran, this is the ultimate, tactical field guide through the daily battlegrounds of toddlerhood. It covers every major hostage situation a three-year-old will face, including:
The Sock Seam Crisis: Why a millimeter of askew fabric means your foot is broken and you must immediately deploy The Dying Fire Truck maneuver.
The Great Culinary Betrayal: What to do when a molecule of broccoli touches a chicken nugget and turns your dinner plate into a crime scene.
The Noodle Spine Defense: How to completely remove all bones from your body to escape the giant rolling cart at the grocery store.
The Bath Time Paradox: How to handle the absolute hypocrisy of adults forcing you into the water, only to demand you get out the second you start splashing.
While this book is officially listed for ages 3 to 6, please note that this is a dual-audience read-aloud book. It contains longer, much funnier blocks of text than a standard point-and-say baby book.
How to use this book: Read it aloud to your child. Point at the illustrations. Look at them and say, This is so you!
Perfect for any parent who has ever watched their child turn into liquid spaghetti in the middle of Target.
Scroll up, grab your copy, and survive the year!
Also from
Grimes, Jonathan
B is for Bugs!: A Fun Insect ABC Book for Toddlers and Preschoolers Who Love Bugs and Backyard Creatures
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
O is for Old West: A Wild Alphabet Adventure: A Fun Western ABC Book for Toddlers and Early Readers
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
S is for Shark!: A fun ocean animal ABC book for toddlers and preschoolers who love sharks and sea creatures
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
The Big Jobsite Mix-Up: A Fun Construction Storybook for Kids Who Love Trucks, Diggers, and Big Machines
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Quokka & Chinchilla: A Funny Animal Friendship Story About Two Very Different Friends
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
D is for Dinosaur!: A Funny Dinosaur Alphabet Book for Toddlers and Preschoolers Ages 2-5
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Sherby Doyle and the Christmas List Mystery: A My First Mystery Christmas Adventure
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Evan vs the Closet: A Silly Bedtime Adventure About Closets, Courage, and One Very Unhelpful Cat
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
I Missed Halloween?!: The Laugh-Out-Loud Story of the Boy Who Missed Halloween... and Wouldn't Give Up
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Bungaroo Boobaloo and the Bumblesplash: A Silly Monster Adventure Full of Big Laughs, Wild River Chaos, and Read-Aloud Fun
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
A Christmas Carol - Shark Edition: A Fun Underwater Retelling of a Holiday Classic
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Don't Wake the Shark!: A Silly Underwater Bedtime Story About Noise, Chaos, and Finally Falling Asleep
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Monster, Monster, and Moe: A Funny Monster Adventure Picture Book for Kids Ages 3-6
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
K is for Knight!: A Medieval Alphabet Adventure for Kids Ages 3-6 Who Love Knights, Castles, Dragons, and Funny ABC Books
Grimes, Jonathan
Paperback
Also in
General Juvenile Nonfiction
Disgustingly Delicious: The Surprising, Weird and Wonderful Food of the World
Mariño, Soledad Romero
Hardcover
You Got This!: Unleash Your Awesomeness, Find Your Path, and Change Your World
Penn, Maya S.
Hardcover
What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Problems with Anger
Huebner, Dawn
Paperback
The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World
Haidt, Jonathan
Price, Catherine
Paperback
National Geographic Little Kids First Big Book of Dinosaurs
National Geographic Kids
Hughes, Catherine D.
Hardcover
20th Century African American History for Kids: The Major Events That Shaped the Past and Present
Weston, Margeaux
Paperback
The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World
Price, Catherine
Haidt, Jonathan
Hardcover
The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs: 100+ Recipes That You'll Love to Cook and Eat
America's Test Kitchen Kids
Hardcover
Pokã(c)Mon Book of Battles: The Official Guide to Battles in Pokã(c)Mon Horizons the Series
Andreou, Katherine
Hardcover
How a Bear Became a Book: The Collaboration That Created Winnie-The-Pooh
Pimentel, Annette Bay
Hardcover
Bones and Berserkers (Nathan Hale's Hazardous Tales #13): 13 True Tales of Terror from American History
Hale, Nathan
Hardcover
Unbreakable: A Japanese American Family in an American Incarceration Camp
Tonai, Minoru
Gutiérrez, Jolene
Hardcover
My First Book of Hunting ABC: A Rhyming Alphabet Primer for Children About Hunting and Outdoor Life
McMurdie, Andrew
Hardcover
Terrifying True Tales: Haunting Histories, Creepy Cryptids, and Scary Stories from Around the World
Towler, Paige
Hardcover
Weird But True! Usa: Expanded Edition: 350 Fascinating Facts about the Fifty States
National Geographic Kids
Paperback
The Ultimate Unofficial World Cup Book: Legends, Stats, and Stories from Soccer's Biggest Game
Barbo, Maria S.
Paperback
Murdle Jr.: Curious Crimes for Curious Minds: Solve Your Way Through 40 Puzzle Mysteries!
Karber, G. T.
Paperback
Our Big Book of First Words: A Collection of 100+ Foundational Words for Language Development
Paige, Tabitha, MS CCC-SLP
Hardcover
Classic Collector's Handbook: An Official Guide to the First 151 Pokémon (Pokémon)
Scholastic
Watson, Silje
Sander, Sonia
Paperback
Juneteenth (a We Celebrate Book): A Board Book
Mitchell, Dolisha
Jefferson, Ashley
Little Feminist
Hardcover
National Geographic Kids Science Encyclopedia, 2nd Edition: Atom Smashing, Food Chemistry, Animals, Space, and More!
National Geographic Kids
Hardcover
Spooky Rivers: 25 Strange and Mysterious Rivers That Snake Across Our Planet
Rutherford, Geo
Hardcover
Weird But True! Usa: Expanded Edition: 350 Fascinating Facts about the Fifty States
National Geographic Kids
Hardcover
How to Draw Anything for kids: 300 Cute Step-by-Step Drawing Stuff: Amazing Food, Animals, Kawaii, Gifts and Other
Rogers, Patricia
Paperback
Seven Million Steps: The True Story of Dick Gregory's Run for the Hungry
Gregory, Christian
Barnes, Derrick
Hardcover
The Kingfisher Soccer Encyclopedia: Facts - STATS - Players - Teams - Skills and Tactics - Competitions
Gifford, Clive
Hardcover
Freedom to Read: The Story of Teacher Mary Peake and One Mighty Oak Tree
Cline-Ransome, Lesa
Hardcover
America Celebrates: The Most Incredible and Influential People, Places & Events of the Last 250 Years
Andrus, Aubre
Hardcover
National Geographic Little Kids First Encyclopedia of Almost Everything
National Geographic Kids
Hardcover
The Complete Baking Book for Young Chefs: 100+ Sweet and Savory Recipes That You'll Love to Bake, Share and Eat!
America's Test Kitchen Kids
Hardcover
Follow the Water: The Unbelievable True Story of a Teenager's Survival in the Amazon
Cochrane, Ellen
Hardcover
The Lego Ideas Book New Edition: You Can Build Anything!
Hugo, Simon
Kosara, Tori
March, Julia
Hardcover
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts One and Two: The Official Playscript of the Original West End Production
Tiffany, John
Rowling, J. K.
Thorne, Jack
Paperback
An Anthology of Flowers: A Collection of Flowers from Gardens, Mountains and More, with Fascinating Secrets
Bailey, Maddie
Hardcover
The Mona Lisa Vanishes: A Legendary Painter, a Shocking Heist, and the Birth of a Global Celebrity
Day, Nicholas
Paperback
There Are No Silly Questions: More Than 200 Weird and Wacky Questions, Expertly Answered!
Rampton, Mike
Hardcover
National Geographic Little Kids First Big Book of Space
Hughes, Catherine D.
National Geographic Kids
Hardcover