Sign-In
Cart
How to Raise Confident Tweens: A Parent's Guide to Friendship Pressure, Comparison, and Finding Their Own Voice, Ages 9 to 12
Paperback
General EducationGeneral Parenting
Please select the version of book you would like to purchase.
ISBN13: 9798171329259
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Sep 2 2026
Pages: 84
Weight: 0.28
Height: 0.20 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Sep 2 2026
Pages: 84
Weight: 0.28
Height: 0.20 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Your child used to sing in the car without checking who could hear. Then,
somewhere around nine, the volume went down - and everything started getting
checked first. Nothing happened. Nobody was unkind. That is the part that catches parents out. Somewhere around nine, most children develop the ability to imagine how they
somewhere around nine, the volume went down - and everything started getting
checked first. Nothing happened. Nobody was unkind. That is the part that catches parents out. Somewhere around nine, most children develop the ability to imagine how they
look from the outside. It is a milestone, and it is the foundation of every
friendship they will ever have. It also arrives years before the judgement to
use it - so your child can now see themselves from outside, and cannot yet tell
whose opinion is worth anything. They take the reading from whoever is standing
nearest. This book calls that the Borrowed Mirror. It is a book about preteen self
esteem that never once tells you to boost it, because the reassurance you have
been offering is very probably making the checking worse. You will learn what your child is actually asking when they ask whether
something is weird, and the one question to ask back. You will learn what to do
in the twenty minutes after they come home flattened, and what not to do,
however much you want to. And you will learn how to build the kind of
confidence nobody can take away, because your child generated it themselves. Inside:
- Why you're wonderful stops working at nine, and what replaces it
- What to say when they were left out of the group chat, in the exact order
- How to tell ordinary friendship friction from a friendship that has turned
- The four conditions that make a hard thing build confidence instead of misery
- Why small pointless lies are about belonging, and how to respond in one
sentence
- The two windows in an ordinary day when tweens will actually talk
- Ten short sentences to rehearse so they can say them when you are not there Every chapter ends the same way: five takeaways, one thing to do this week, and
the words themselves, written out. Not a principle to translate at half past
nine on a school night. A sentence you can say tonight. This is for parents of children aged 9 to 12 who were fine last year and are
somehow not fine now. It is not a clinical book and it does not pretend to be. Scroll up and click Buy Now.
friendship they will ever have. It also arrives years before the judgement to
use it - so your child can now see themselves from outside, and cannot yet tell
whose opinion is worth anything. They take the reading from whoever is standing
nearest. This book calls that the Borrowed Mirror. It is a book about preteen self
esteem that never once tells you to boost it, because the reassurance you have
been offering is very probably making the checking worse. You will learn what your child is actually asking when they ask whether
something is weird, and the one question to ask back. You will learn what to do
in the twenty minutes after they come home flattened, and what not to do,
however much you want to. And you will learn how to build the kind of
confidence nobody can take away, because your child generated it themselves. Inside:
- Why you're wonderful stops working at nine, and what replaces it
- What to say when they were left out of the group chat, in the exact order
- How to tell ordinary friendship friction from a friendship that has turned
- The four conditions that make a hard thing build confidence instead of misery
- Why small pointless lies are about belonging, and how to respond in one
sentence
- The two windows in an ordinary day when tweens will actually talk
- Ten short sentences to rehearse so they can say them when you are not there Every chapter ends the same way: five takeaways, one thing to do this week, and
the words themselves, written out. Not a principle to translate at half past
nine on a school night. A sentence you can say tonight. This is for parents of children aged 9 to 12 who were fine last year and are
somehow not fine now. It is not a clinical book and it does not pretend to be. Scroll up and click Buy Now.
Also in
General Parenting
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition
Patterson, Kerry
Switzler, Al
Grenny, Joseph
Paperback
$11.99
The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: A Hmong Child, Her American Doctors, and the Collision of Two Cultures
Fadiman, Anne
Paperback
From $10.99
The Adventurous Eaters Club: Mastering the Art of Family Mealtime
Collins, Misha
Collins, Vicki
Hardcover
$14.99
The ADHD Workbook for Kids: Helping Children Gain Self-Confidence, Social Skills, & Self-Control
Shapiro, Lawrence E.
Paperback
$23.70
Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood
Hallowell, Edward M.
Hallowell
Paperback
$11.99
The Danish Way of Raising Teens: What the Happiest People in the World Know about Raising Confident, Healthy Teenagers with Character
Sandahl, Iben Dissing
Paperback
From $10.99
Don't Mom Alone: Growing the Relationships You Need to Be the Mom You Want to Be
Macfadyen, Heather
Paperback
From $9.99
Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right
Glowacki, Jamie
Paperback
$9.99
The Parenting Project: Build Extraordinary Relationships with Your Kids Through Daily Conversation
Schlichting, Kristine
Alamar, Amy
Paperback
$29.99
Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
Campbell, Alyssa Blask
Stauble, Lauren Elizabeth
Paperback
$18.04
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
Haidt, Jonathan
Hardcover
From $14.99
Through Mom's Eyes: Simple Wisdom from Mothers Who Raised Extraordinary Humans
Jones, Sheinelle
Hardcover
$26.10
Homeschooled: A New York Times Bestselling Memoir and Read with Jenna Pick
Merrill Block, Stefan
Hardcover
From $17.99
Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself
Brown, Misha
Hardcover
$24.29
Mom, I Want to Hear Your Story (Expanded Edition): A Mother's Guided Journal to Share Her Life & Her Love
Mason, Jeffrey
Paperback
$14.99
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us about the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
Doucleff, Michaeleen
Paperback
$22.80
Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods
Doucleff, Michaeleen
Hardcover
$27.00
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
Bryson, Tina Payne
Siegel, Daniel J.
Paperback
From $10.99
Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America
McCarthy, Andrew
Hardcover
$26.10
The Company We Keep: Friendship, Connection, and Redefining What It Means to Grow Together
Elle, Alexandra
Hardcover
$26.60
The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents
Levy, Alexander
Paperback
$18.04
Burn Book: Burn Book Mean Girls journal, Its full of secrets! - Blank Notebook/Journal - Mean Girls Notebook
George, Regina
Paperback
$9.98
Human Raised: Nurturing Connection, Curiosity & Lifelong Learning in the Age of AI
Suskind, Dana, MD
Hardcover
$28.80
Dad, I Want to Hear Your Story (Expanded Edition): A Father's Guided Journal to Share His Life & His Love
Mason, Jeffrey
Paperback
$14.24
Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents
Lebowitz, Eli R.
Paperback
$18.98
First-Time Fostering: A Practical Guide for Supporting Kids in Foster Care
Laura the Foster Parent Partner
Paperback
$16.19
ABA Visualized Guidebook 2nd Edition: A visual guidebook of approachable behavior expertise
Van Diepen, Boudewijn
Van Diepen, Morgan
Paperback
$47.44
Smart But Scattered: The Revolutionary Executive Skills Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential
Dawson, Peg
Guare, Richard
Guare, Colin
Paperback
$18.95
Capable: How to Teach Your Kids the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience
Goff, Sissy, Lpc-Mhsp
Thomas, David
Hardcover
$23.74
You Are the Parent: Move from Overparenting to Balanced Parenting and Become the Leader Your Child Needs
Cohen, Siggie
Hardcover
$28.50
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
$14.25
The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Decision of Your Life
Bombardieri Msw Licsw, Merle A.
Paperback
$26.55
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Silver, Nan
Gottman, John, PhD
Paperback
From $11.99
Why We Fight: A Transformative Road Map to Healing Conflict in Any Relationship
Polinder, Kim
Hardcover
$27.00
The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole
Schwartz, Arielle, PhD
Paperback
$16.14
The Digital Delusion: How Classroom Technology Harms Our Kids' Learning--And How to Help Them Thrive Again; Updated Edition
Cooney Horvath, Jared, PhD Med
Paperback
$20.90
How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child: Your Blueprint to a Lifetime of Happiness and Success for Your Child
Gibson, Lindsay C., PsyD
Hardcover
$27.00
The Creatures' Guide to Caring: How Animal Parents Teach Us That Humans Were Born to Care
Preston, Elizabeth
Hardcover
$28.50
The Complete IEP Guide: How to Advocate for Special Eduction Services for Your Child
Siegel, Lawrence M.
Paperback
$32.39
Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges
Schore, Tosha
Wipfler, Patty
Paperback
$23.75
The Unexpected Journey: Finding Strength, Hope, and Yourself on the Caregiving Path
Heming Willis, Emma
Hardcover
$27.00
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Being Grandma: 101 Stories by Grandmothers & Grandchildren
Newmark, Amy
Paperback
$16.14
The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools
Greene, Ross W.
Hardcover
$26.60
Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons: Revised and Updated Second Edition
Haddox, Phyllis
Bruner, Elaine
Engelmann, Siegfried
Paperback
$28.49
Chancla: Healing Our Families, Ourselves, and Our Culture Through Nonviolent Parenting
Priscilla, Leslie
Hardcover
$26.10
One Bad Mother: In Praise of Psycho Housewives, Stage Parents, Momfluencers, and Other Women We Love to Hate
Dickson, Ej
Hardcover
$27.00
The Birth Partner, Sixth Revised Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and Other Labor Companions
Simkin, Penny
Cheyney, Melissa
Paperback
$20.69
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
King, Julie
Faber, Joanna
Paperback
From $11.99
Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids
Clarke-Fields, Hunter
Paperback
$18.95
The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-To-Be
Ash Rudick, Jennifer
Brott, Armin A.
Paperback
$15.15
The Success Trap: How the Pressure to Stand Out Is Fueling Anxiety, Depression, and Burnout in Teens--And the Fundamental Fix They Deserve
Slavin, Stuart, MD Med
Hardcover
$28.50
Mom Needs a Moment: How to Stop Your Reaction Before It Starts... and Become a Calmer, Happier, More Connected Parent
Freitas, Cassidy
Hardcover
$30.40
Celebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!): The Ultimate Puberty Book for Girls
Taylor, Sonya Renee
Paperback
From $6.99
Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool
Oster, Emily
Paperback
$18.05
The Road Less Triggered: Turning Conflict Into Connection with a Single Choice
Flanagan, Kelly
Paperback
$18.99
Good Daughtering: The Work You've Always Done, the Credit You've Never Gotten, and How to Finally Feel Like Enough
Alford Phd, Allison M.
Hardcover
$28.50
Raising Mentally Strong Kids: How to Combine the Power of Neuroscience with Love and Logic to Grow Confident, Kind, Responsible, and Resilient Childre
Fay Phd, Charles
Amen MD Daniel G.
Hardcover
$26.59
Parenting a Spicy One: A Compassionate Guide for Raising a Deep-Feeling and Wonderfully Strong-Willed Kid
Van Geffen, Mary
Hardcover
$25.64
Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
Gottman, John, PhD
Gottman, Julie Schwartz
Hardcover
From $17.99
Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids
Elkins, Meredith, PhD
Elkins, Meredith, PhD
Hardcover
$28.50
Las Como Hablar para que Los Ninos Escuchen: y Como Escuchar para que los Ninos Hablen
Mazlish, Elaine
Faber, Adele
Paperback
$12.99
Unoffendable Bible Study Guide Plus Streaming Video: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better
Hansen, Brant
Paperback
$20.89
The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother
Greeven, Amely
Belger, Marisa
Ou, Heng
Hardcover
$30.88
Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults: A Guide for the Anxious, Uniquely Wired, and Easily Distracted
Maguire, Caroline
Hardcover
$27.00
The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Your Life
Free CCC, Jenna
Hardcover
$22.49
Notice and Do: Raise Capable Kids, End Motherhood Burnout, and Lighten Your Mental Load
Kelly, Sam
Hardcover
$28.50
There Are Dads Way Worse Than You: Unimpeachable Evidence of Your Excellence as a Father
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
$14.25
Unfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs
Harper, Faith G.
Paperback
$14.20
The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family: Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids
Powell, Kara
Paperback
$18.99
The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships
Fern, Jessica
Paperback
$18.95
Raising Conscious Sons: Cultivating Purpose, Connection, and Inner Power in a Chaotic World
Tsabary, Shefali
Hardcover
$28.49
Raising Conscious Daughters: Building Confidence, Courage, and Inner Power in an Anxious World
Tsabary, Shefali
Hardcover
$28.49
Help! I'm Ruining My Kids: A Gospel Guide for the Mom Who's Desperate for Change
Wedgeworth, Abbey
Paperback
$18.99
Tiny Beautiful Things (10th Anniversary Edition): Reese's Book Club: Advice from Dear Sugar
Strayed, Cheryl
Paperback
$16.15
Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids
Campbell, Alyssa Blask
Lounder, Rachel Stuart
Hardcover
$26.09
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
Siegel, Daniel J.
Bryson, Tina Payne
Paperback
From $11.99
Little Apocalypses: Essays on Motherhood, Climate Change, and Hope at the End of the World
Teer, Kaitlyn
Paperback
$18.04
The Japanese Way of Parenting: And What It Taught Me about Raising (Mostly) Calm, Caring, Capable Kids
Katayama, Lisa
Paperback
$18.99
Let Them Be Kids: Adventure, Boredom, Innocence, and Other Gifts Children Need
Smartt, Jessica
Paperback
$18.99
The Aubreigh Wyatt Story: A mother's fight for justice, love, and lasting change
Wyatt, Heather
Paperback
$18.99
Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process
Ziegler, Sheryl Gonzalez
Paperback
$18.99
Talk to Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow Into Confident, Caring Young Men
Schroeder, Joanna
Pepper, Christopher
Hardcover
$26.60
I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times
Guzmán, Mónica
Paperback
$20.85
Therapy Nation: How America Got Hooked on Therapy and Why It's Left Us More Anxious and Divided
Alpert, Jonathan
Hardcover
$28.80
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers
Kleiman, Karen
Hardcover
$18.04
The Parent's Guide to Divorce: How to Protect Your Child's Mental and Emotional Health Through a Breakup or Separation
Komisar, Erica
Paperback
$17.99
A Book About My Daddy: Fill In The Blank Book With Prompts For Kids to Fill with their Own Words, Drawings and Pictures - Personalized Gifts
Creations, Eightyeight
Paperback
$8.28
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 8th Edition: Birth to Age 5
American Academy of Pediatrics
Paperback
$24.70
Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out
Burns Ph. D., Jim
Paperback
$18.99
Parent Like a Millionaire (Without Being One): Outsmart Big Baby, Save on Childcare, and Secure Your Family's Financial Future
Shen, Kristy
Leung, Bryce
Paperback
$19.00