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Geshundheit, Gary!: A Bedtime Story for Adults Who've Been Audited
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 8 2026
Pages: 360
Weight: 1.06
Height: 0.75 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Luna is a fairy with two great loves: fermented nectar and the perfect sneeze.
Gary the grasshopper has been delivering that sneeze every morning for years. Same time. Same pebble. Statistically impossible. Absolutely real. And now the Forest Bureau of Nasal Management wants to know why.
What follows is a fraud investigation, a courtroom, a corrupt badger named Reginald, and a friendship between a fairy and a grasshopper that neither of them saw coming. Luna has spent her whole life counting things in a universe that feels utterly indifferent. Gary is the first thing she's counted that counted back.
Saving him means teaching him to sneeze wrong. On purpose. Off-schedule, off-pebble, and on command. For a grasshopper whose entire identity is built on precision, this is its own kind of catastrophe.
You'll love this if you:
- Believe bureaucracy is the natural enemy of all living things
- Want a friendship story that happens to involve nasal statistics
- Think the best courtroom dramas star insects
- Have ever been punished for being too good at something
- Know that fermented nectar fixes most problems and complicates the rest
Gary's sneezes are perfect. That's exactly the problem.
For readers of Roald Dahl, Terry Pratchett, and anyone who has ever filed the right paperwork and still lost anyway.
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