Sign-In
Cart
Excuse Me, but Forgive Me (Couples Edition): A survival guide for couples who haven't killed each other-yet.
Paperback
Series: Excuse Me, But Forgive Me
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: May 18 2026
Pages: 234
Weight: 0.70
Height: 0.49 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Excuse Me, but Forgive Me (Couples Edition): A Survival Guide for Couples Who Haven't Killed Each Other-Yet
Stop pretending your relationship is a Hallmark movie and start surviving the hilarious, messy, and maddening reality of living together.
If you're holding this book, it's for one of two reasons: you're making a last-ditch effort before calling a divorce lawyer, or someone gifted it to you as a massive, glaring hint. Either way, welcome to the letting-it-rip-on-the-couch era of your life.
In this brutally honest and unapologetically cynical guide, Carlos Vaimberg strips away the toxic myth of the soulmate to reveal the truth: love isn't about sharing sunsets; it's about sharing bacteria and negotiating who has to take out the trash in the freezing cold.
Within these pages, you will navigate the four horsemen of the domestic apocalypse:
The End of Dignity: From The Toilet Seat Theorem to the forensic archaeology of finding stray hairs on the soap.
Fake Diplomacy: Why Do whatever you want is actually a death sentence and how to translate Nothing's wrong into the language of war.
Personal Space (The Invasion of Poland): How your partner's hobbies colonized the living room and why the bed is a border more guarded than the DMZ.
Sexuality & Other Mythologies: The truth about passion-killer pajamas, scheduled sex, and the headache that magically disappears when there's a new Netflix documentary.
Excuse Me, but Forgive Me isn't a fluffy self-help manual. It's a filthy mirror. It's for the couples who know that true love is the resilient ability to laugh at each other's psychopathic toothpaste-squeezing habits while ruthlessly deciding who gets the good TV in a hypothetical breakup.
Whether you're in the honeymoon phase or the chainsaw snoring phase, this book is your manual for a life of loving hatred.
Buy it now-before you throw a pillow at their face at 3:00 a.m.Also from
Vaimberg, Carlos
Are You an Idiot or Do You Just Overthink Everything?: The Art of Telling Your Mind to Fck* Off Before It Kills You
Vaimberg, Carlos
Paperback
Excuse Me, but Forgive Me: A reality manual to stop being the insufferable person ruining your own life (and everyone else's).
Vaimberg, Carlos
Paperback
Also in
Humor
I Can't Believe I Did That: The Game That Gives You Points for Sharing Awkward, Awesome, and Unforgettable Memories: Card Games
Nadelberg, David
Katcher, Neil
Other
The Science Magpie: Fascinating Facts, Stories, Poems, Diagrams and Jokes Plucked from Science
Flynn, Simon
Paperback
Fixing Flamingos: And Other Solutions to the World's Least Pressing Problems
Brown, Lucienne
Rea, Brian
Paperback
How to Be a Cat: (Cat Books for Kids, Cat Gifts for Kids, Cat Picture Book)
Swerling, Lisa
Lazar, Ralph
Hardcover
Peculiar Questions and Practical Answers: A Little Book of Whimsy and Wisdom from the Files of the New York Public Library
New York Public Library
Hardcover
How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself
Lawson, Jenny
Hardcover
Bake It Off: An Unofficial Taylor Swift-Inspired Cookbook for Every Era, from Breakfast to Midnights
Smith, Lindsey
Hardcover
Big Fan: Two Friends, 82,490 Miles, and the Wild, Wonderful Sports We Love
Schur, Michael
Posnanski, Joe
Hardcover
Black Out Loud: The Revolutionary History of Black Comedy from Vaudeville to '90s Sitcoms
Bennett, Geoff
Hardcover
Pardon My Book: Ten Years of the Best (and Worst) in Sports from Pardon My Take
Commenter, Pft
Big Cat
Hardcover
We Are the World (Cup): A Personal History of the World's Greatest Sporting Event
Bennett, Roger
Hardcover
How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up: Big Lessons from Little Kids
Shapiro-Barnum, Julian
Hardcover
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume
Adams, Douglas
Paperback
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent
Boozan, Glenn
Hardcover
The New Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations
Piven, Joshua
Borgenicht, David
Hardcover
Wtf America?!: The Way Out of This Hell and Back to Democracy
Meiselas, Jordy
Meiselas, Ben
Meiselas, Brett
Hardcover
How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
Auburn, Zachary
Paperback
Not Today, Fascists: The Lies That Got Us Here, and the Truths That Will Reunite Us
Welch, Jennifer
Hardcover
Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die (New York Times Bestseller)
Condo, Messie
Hardcover