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Crackhead
Paperback
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ISBN13: 9798285511687
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: May 27 2025
Pages: 148
Weight: 0.46
Height: 0.32 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: May 27 2025
Pages: 148
Weight: 0.46
Height: 0.32 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
WARNING ADULT CONTENT - Trevor Malloy is just your average dead-inside council admin from the crumbling northern town of Smackleton - single, depressed, and one Greggs sausage roll away from a breakdown. Then one night, he smokes crack. Now he's hurtling face-first into the seedy underbelly of small-town Britain: from pimping his girlfriend out of a stolen ice cream van to launching a crypto-dogging empire called DoggChain. Along the way, he botches robberies, runs a cactus porn studio in a garden centre, sells fake funerals to real pensioners, and starts an OnlyFans agency for people with extremely niche fetishes. He's a crackhead. He's a criminal. He's also absolutely fucking useless. A blisteringly filthy dark comedy full of swearing, sex, stupidity, and spice, CRACKHEAD is what happens when Trainspotting shags The Office behind a Wetherspoons bin. It's bleak, brilliant, and outrageously funny. Warning: Not for the easily offended. Or the moderately offended. Or really, anyone who thinks that's a bit much. Rumour has it CRACKHEAD might be heading to TV soon. So read it now before it gets banned, burned, or turned into a rubbish TV version starring a bloke who was an extra in Eastenders in 1987! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I laughed so hard I pissed myself. Twice.
- Janice, Amazon Verified Reviewer & part-time bingo caller
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Like Trainspotting, but with more Greggs, crack, and cum jokes. A masterpiece.
- Dave in Hull, currently on bail
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Offensive, obscene, morally bankrupt - 10/10.
- Guardian Reader who won't admit they loved it
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I was reading this on the bus and laughed so hard I farted. No regrets.
- Sharon B, NHS admin, bladder control issues
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book cured my depression. Or gave me a new, funnier one. Either way, thanks.
- Colin, failed magician, full-time legend
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
- Janice, Amazon Verified Reviewer & part-time bingo caller
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Like Trainspotting, but with more Greggs, crack, and cum jokes. A masterpiece.
- Dave in Hull, currently on bail
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Offensive, obscene, morally bankrupt - 10/10.
- Guardian Reader who won't admit they loved it
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I was reading this on the bus and laughed so hard I farted. No regrets.
- Sharon B, NHS admin, bladder control issues
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book cured my depression. Or gave me a new, funnier one. Either way, thanks.
- Colin, failed magician, full-time legend
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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