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Conan of Green Gables: and Other Fracked Fictions
Paperback
Fiction AnthologiesClassic FictionGeneral Fiction
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 25 2026
Pages: 264
Weight: 0.79
Height: 0.60 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
CONAN OF GREEN GABLES
And Other Fracked Fictions
What happens when literature's most unlikely authors get thrown into the same blender? This is what happens.
A sixteen-year-old Cimmerian barbarian falls eight thousand years through a crack in time and lands in a ditch outside Avonlea - where a spinster named Marilla Cuthbert takes one look at his notched sword and decides he must simply be foreign. What follows is the tale you never knew you needed: a boy who has killed men in battle learning to sit still through Sunday sermons, defending a small red-haired girl's honor with a rain barrel, and discovering that home isn't only the land that shaped you - it's the hearth that takes you in when the world gashes open beneath your feet.
That's just the opener. This anthology also delivers:
- A talking mole, wrongly committed to an underground asylum, forced to endure two argumentative gentlemoles and a recurring dream about a human sanitarium even more tedious than his own
- A man who once turned into vermin, finding uneasy sanctuary among the drifters of Cannery Row during WWII
- Job's suffering, relived in a dream by Odysseus himself, who has a few pointed questions for a God who admits He did it for no reason
- A private eye named Mike Hammerhead, waking up in Oz with his gat still loaded, hired by the Tin Woodman to solve a string of murders that lead straight to the Wizard's door
- The Confederacy, saved not by Lee's army but by a Martian invasion
- Eeyore, Private Detective, failing to solve a mystery that turns out to have never existed at all
- A Connecticut Yankee, humbled twice - once in Camelot, and once in the court of King Conan himself
Fourteen authors who never met, remixed by a Bureau of unclear jurisdiction, for readers who like their classics with the leash off. Equal parts homage, satire, and gleeful vandalism of the public domain.
Not for the easily offended. Absolutely for everyone else.
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Arnold, Tony W.
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