Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley door pickup 10am - 7pm 3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
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  • Open Daily: 10am - 10pm
    Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm

    3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
    612-822-4611

Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm
3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
612-822-4611
Awful Affirmations: Lies I Tell Myself Before 9 A.M.: A Parody of Positivity and Other Morning Myths

Awful Affirmations: Lies I Tell Myself Before 9 A.M.: A Parody of Positivity and Other Morning Myths

Calm, Avery

Paperback

Series: The Anti-Inspiration Collection

HumorSelf-Help

ISBN13: 9798269484839
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Feb 19 2026
Pages: 108
Weight: 0.25
Height: 0.22 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
Start your day with a lie. It's cheaper than therapy.

From the author of Tragic Gratitude and Mediocre Mindfulness comes another almost-inspirational guide for the chronically tired and mildly self-aware. Awful Affirmations: Lies I Tell Myself Before 9 A.M. is a darkly funny parody of morning motivation, packed with self-talk that's more honest than helpful.

Forget you've got this. This book is for anyone who greets the sunrise with suspicion and a strong cup of coffee. It's a comfort for the quietly exhausted and a wink to those who've tried positive thinking and accidentally achieved mild resentment instead.

Perfect for:

  • Coffee addicts, doomscrollers, and reluctant optimists
  • Fans of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* and Calm the Fck Down*
  • Anyone allergic to toxic positivity, but still in need of a little comfort
Witty, minimalist, and quietly relatable, Awful Affirmations reminds us that it's okay to start the day with low expectations - sometimes survival is the win.

Repeat after me:

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