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The Apocalypse Has Customer Support
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ISBN13: 9798199488068
Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 152
Weight: 0.35
Height: 0.33 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 152
Weight: 0.35
Height: 0.33 Width: 5.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
When the apocalypse arrives, humanity discovers the end of the world is not caused by aliens, zombies, or angry gods.
It is caused by customer support. After every phone, television, and smart device on Earth begins displaying strange corporate messages, exhausted office worker Elliot Vance finds himself trapped on hold with Universal Closure Solutions; the interdimensional company responsible for managing planetary extinctions. Unfortunately, Earth's apocalypse was activated two centuries early by Kevin, an undertrained intern who accidentally pressed the wrong button.
It is caused by customer support. After every phone, television, and smart device on Earth begins displaying strange corporate messages, exhausted office worker Elliot Vance finds himself trapped on hold with Universal Closure Solutions; the interdimensional company responsible for managing planetary extinctions. Unfortunately, Earth's apocalypse was activated two centuries early by Kevin, an undertrained intern who accidentally pressed the wrong button.
Now reality is collapsing under a mountain of refund requests, timelines are merging together, dinosaurs are roaming downtown traffic, and Nebraska somehow owns the planet legally. To make matters worse:
- The Four Horsemen have HR problems
- The moon keeps leaving negative reviews
- Customer satisfaction surveys may destroy civilization
- Upper management abandoned reality for a leadership retreat in the Void
- And the hold music never stops
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