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Text Messages from God
Hardcover
Publisher Price: $39.99
ISBN13: 9781764596541
Publisher: Funguy Publishing
Published: Mar 27 2026
Pages: 44
Weight: 0.67
Height: 0.25 Width: 8.00 Depth: 8.00
Language: English
God finally learned how to text - and He's hilarious.
Divine texts. Zero autocorrect fails. Unlimited heavenly data plan. She is everywhere - no telco drop outs. (It's nearly as good as Starlink). God finally got with the times and started texting. Add to cart immediately - or risk eternal damnation. (No pressure.)
Text Messages from God delivers straight-to-the-point messages from the Big Guy Himself - written like actual texts you'd get on your phone. No long sermons, no boring chapters, just quick, hilarious, and surprisingly wise pings from Heaven that actually make you laugh out loud.
Expect messages like: Just saw your search history - we need to talk or Hey that Gym Card isn't going to swipe itself.
God addresses all of our normal, everyday issues in life - from finding the perfect date and staring blankly into the fridge at 11pm, to Googling for wisdom, grabbing last-minute 7-11 flowers, debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza, and a whole lot more.
Some messages come with solid biblical advice. Others hit you with good ol' tongue-in-cheek sarcasm straight from Heaven. Either way - you're guaranteed a good laugh (and probably a little conviction).
Why people can't stop reading it:
- It's short enough to read while waiting for your toast to pop,
- funny enough to make you snort-laugh in public,
- deep enough to actually change your day and way more entertaining than your group chat.
This Makes the Perfect Gift:
- For the friend who's been praying about it for 3 years but still swipes right on tinder,
- that person who shows up to date night with servo flowers and calls it romance,
- anyone still arguing about pineapple on pizza or
- that over-thinker stress head who needs God to text them chill.
Perfect centrepiece for a coffee table. It is vibrant and motivational and will keep guests and family alike amused, entertained and inspired. Great as a gift or for that reception or waiting room too. Watch as even the casual reader will smile and giggle - because God texting you is an hilarious concept.
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