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Still Here: The Long Chronic-Phase Survival Guide for Parents of an Adult Child with Serious Mental Illness
Paperback
Death & DyingGeneral ParentingMental Health
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Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 158
Weight: 0.48
Height: 0.34 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
You are not new to this. Your son or your daughter has lived with schizophrenia, bipolar I, borderline personality disorder, or schizoaffective disorder for ten years, or fifteen, or twenty. You have done NAMI Family-to-Family. You read Torrey and Amador a decade ago. You know what anosognosia is. You have run LEAP more times than you can count. You have survived the hospitalizations, the medication-refusal cycles, the 3am calls, the police at the door. And every book on the shelf is still written for the parent you were at year one.
This is the book for year fifteen. For the veteran, not the newcomer. It will not re-explain the diagnosis you have lived with for half your adult life, and it will never tell you that your child's treatment is yours to enforce. It begins where you actually are: tired, still loving, and carrying the question that wakes you at 4am. What happens to my child when I am gone?
Written parent to parent, for mothers and for fathers, by someone who has sat in the same ER waiting rooms, it gives you the four things no other book does:
- A name for the grief: ambiguous loss, the mourning of the child who might have been while you care for the one who is, held as a real framework rather than a passing mention, so you stop believing something is wrong with you for grieving a child who is still in the next room
- Permission and a model for a life of your own: your health, your marriage, your friendships, your remaining years, included alongside your child without being consumed by the illness, with presence and self-preservation held as equals instead of a guilty trade-off
- Cross-diagnosis solidarity: whatever the specific diagnosis, you share the same cycles and the same walls with a large company of parents you have never been shown
- A started plan for when you are gone: what a special needs trust, a psychiatric advance directive, a letter of intent, and caretaker succession each do, so the 4am question has actual answers and a first action taken
It includes the father's experience, which the whole field skips. It explains the walls you keep hitting, HIPAA, civil commitment, the limits of what you can compel, plainly, and releases the belief that more force on your part would have changed them. It holds your child's dignity on every page.
This is educational, not clinical or legal advice, and the recovery work and the legal work belong with the professionals named inside. What this book gives you is the one thing no one else did: a way to keep going. You are still here. So is your child. Both can be true.
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