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Mamaliga Romaneasca: Roman Satiric
Paperback
ISBN13: 9786067005417
Publisher: Eliteratura
Published: Jan 24 2015
Pages: 302
Weight: 0.98
Height: 0.68 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: Romanian
COME AND TASTE THE ROMANIAN POLENTA!
This book is in Romanian.
Mamaliga româneasca explodeaza... de râs înca de la primele pagini. Un umor spumos ce dubleaza o satira usturatoare la adresa perioadei comunismului si a celei de tranzitie. Pur si simplu nu vei putea s-o lasi din mana! Este un roman de referinta.
Pentru ilustrare, sa citim un fragment. ÃŽn paginile cartii, desigur, textul apare cu diacritice!
Pai bine, Chitimio, nu vorbiram ca trebuie sa mascam lovitura de stat sub o revolutie? Asa, ca-n Cehia? Doar ca nu o facem de catifea, ca ei, o facem din lâna noastra, mai aspra, mai tepoasa. O sa curga ceva sânge, ceva mai mult. O sa trebuiasca sa instauram o teroare din care noi sa iesim drept eliberatori, ca altfel scapam de plutonul de executie, dar ne linseaza prostimea!
- Dar mai ales, interveni Pribegel, aplecându-se putin în fata, vom tine sub control întreaga tara, nu numai Bucurestiul!
- Pentru asta, avem destui oameni? întreba Chitimia, scarpinându-si afectat slitul.
- Tot noi, securitatea, sa ne gândim la toate! Se lasa pe spate, ca dupa un efort suprem, si continua pe o voce joasa, cautând sa dea cât mai mult efect cuvintelor sale: Vom transmite totul la televizor!
- Ce... totul? se nedumiri Chitimia care era un foarte bun executant, dar când venea vorba de gândire tragea pe dreapta sa schimbe cauciucul.
- Revolutia, preciza Pribegel. Este ideea mea! adauga el, ridicându-si fruntea si privind undeva spre peretele opus ca si cum acolo s-ar fi aflat propriul lui portret sub care ar fi stat scris: Un geniu nemeritat de români.
- Dar... nu înteleg, spuse Balmes. La ce e nevoie sa ne deconspiram în fata întregii lumi?
- Degeaba ai fost tu pe externe, ca n-ai învatat nimic de la americani, ricana Atanasei, putin suparat nu pe nedumerirea lui Balmes, ci pe faptul ca Pribegel îsi asumase paternitatea ideii care, ca sa pastram adevarul istoric, îl vizitase mai întâi pe Atanasei, desi nici el nu era tatal original, ci masoneria din care provenea. Oferim un spectacol gratuit omenirii, ne acoperim lovitura noastra de stat aratând tuturor ca a fost o revolta a populatiei si legitimam astfel si nou conducere. La momentul oportun va aparea tovarasul Ilicescu care va fi, nu-i asa în inima revolutiei, care va înfrunta fara teama gloantele si va...
- Pai la revolutie se trage, se moare... Doar n-o sa moara securistii mei...
- Sau militienii mei, se repezi si Chitimia.
- Sau soldatii mei! striga Atanasei, pe un ton chiar vesel caci într-adevar era de râs sa crezi ca niste oameni înarmati ar putea fi omorâti de oameni cu steaguri si pancarte.
- Si atunci cine trage? nu se lasa Buca.
- Pai la început o sa cam traga militia si armata, dar dupa ce-l trimitem pe al batrân la cele vesnice, o sa traga cei care-i vor ramâne fideli.
- Regizorul ala, îl stiti voi, a avut ideea sa-i denumim teroristi, ca sa para mai înspaimântator, sa putem pastra groaza în oameni un timp cât mai îndelungat.
- De acest aspect ma voi ocupa eu personal, asa ca nu mai are rost sa insistam, preciza Atanasei, cu o voce autoritara. Important e ca noua conducere sa aiba legitimitate, indiferent câti vor muri, ba as spune ca cu cât vor fi mai multi morti, cu atât noua conducere va capata o mai mare legitimitate. Tineti cont de un lucru esential: noi schimbam conducerea, nu orânduirea! Nu sistemul! Vom aduce un despot luminat, vom mentine un comunism ca al lui Gorbi... Chiar de va fi sa chemam trupele sovietice în ajutorul nostru.
- Ce sa caute rusii la noi în tara? se oripila Buca, de altfel, ipocrit, caci el fusese unul dintre corifeii aducerii si mentinerii ocupatiei sovietice dupa cel de-Al Doilea Razboi Mondial.
- Dar cine ai vrea sa vina? Americanii? ricana Balmes, mai mult ca sa observe reactiile celorlalti si sa afle d
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