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The Pain of You: A memoir of chronic hidden pain, inherited silence, and showing up anyway
Hardcover
Biographies GeneralPain Management
Publisher Price: $26.99
Publisher: Anacrusis Press
Published: Sep 26 2026
Pages: 214
Weight: 1.01
Height: 0.63 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
I told everyone I was fine. This is what 'fine' was costing me.
The chronic pain arrived when I was a teenager and never left. The pain sat beside me on concert stages through a career as a professional bassist, then claimed that career for itself. The pain followed me to the podium, through nearly a decade as a public educator and Orchestra Director, while I hid what every school day cost me.
That was the family craft. I learned the trade from my father, who carried his own pain the same way.
Starting in those same teenage years, a progressive disease began taking him in stages. For years, I was his caretaker, the strong one in every room, while my own body charged a fee for every hour I stood there.
This book is the bill for all of it: the managed answers I kept handing doctors, the truth I kept from everyone who loved me, the collapse that refused to stay hidden, and the woman who had been waiting twenty-three years for me to stop performing.
This is not a cure story, nor a self-help book. The pain is still with me as I write this. Instead, this is a true story of invisible illness, inherited silence, and a long-delayed love, written for anyone who has ever answered 'fine' and meant 'help.'
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Bunte, Benjamin
The Pain of You: A memoir of chronic hidden pain, inherited silence, and showing up anyway
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