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Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Paperback
EtiquetteGeneral ParentingSelf-Help
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Publisher: Arionabooks
Pages: 314
Weight: 0.93
Height: 0.66 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
ntroductory.
Ingenious Art with her expressive face, Steps forth to fashion and refine the
race.-COWPER.
A knowledge of etiquette has been defined to be a knowledge of the rules
of society at its best. These rules have been the outgrowth of centuries of
civilization, had their foundation in friendship and love of man for his fel-
low man-the vital principles of Christianity-and are most powerful agents
for promoting peace, harmony and good will among all people who are en-
joying the blessings of more advanced civilized government. In all civilized
countries the influence of the best society is of great importance to the wel-
fare and prosperity of the nation, but in no country is the good influence of
the most refined society more powerfully felt than in our own, the land of
the future, where mankind may plant, essay, and resolve all social problems.
These rules make social intercourse more agreeable, and facilitate hospitali-
ties, when all members of society hold them as binding rules and faithfully
regard their observance. They are to society what our laws are to the people
as a political body, and to disregard them will give rise to constant misun-
derstandings, engender ill-will, and beget bad morals and bad manners.
3 JOHN H. YOUNG
Says an eminent English writer: On manners, refinement, rules of good
breeding, and even the forms of etiquette, we are forever talking, judging
our neighbors severely by the breach of traditionary and unwritten laws, and
choosing our society and even our friends by the touchstone of courtesy.
The Marchioness de Lambert expressed opinions which will be endorsed
by the best bred people everywhere when she wrote to her son: Nothing
is more shameful than a voluntary rudeness. Men have found it necessary
as well as agreeable to unite for the common good; they have made laws to
restrain the wicked; they have agreed among themselves as to the duties of
society, and have annexed an honorable character to the practice of those
duties. He is the honest man who observes them with the most exactness,
and the instances of them multiply in proportion to the degree of nicety of
a person's honor.
Originally a gentleman was defined to be one who, without any title of no-
bility, wore a coat of arms. And the descendants of many of the early colonists
preserve with much pride and care the old armorial bearings which their an-
cestors brought with them from their homes in the mother country. Al-
though despising titles and ignoring the rights of kings, they still clung to
the grand old name of gentleman. But race is no longer the only requisite
for a gentleman, nor will race united with learning and wealth make a man a
gentleman, unless there are present the kind and gentle qualities of the heart,
which find expression in the principles of the Golden Rule. Nor will race,
education and wealth combined make a woman a true lady if she shows a
want of refinement and consideration of the feelings of others.
Good manners are only acquired by education and observation, followed
up by habitual practice at home and in society, and good manners reveal
to us the lady and the gentleman. He who does not possess them, though
he bear the highest title of nobility, cannot expect to be called a gentleman;
nor can a woman, without good manners, aspire to be considered a lady
by ladies. Manners and morals are indissolubly allied, and no society can
be good where they are bad. It is the duty of American women to exercise
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