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My Feelings Are Not the Facts: How to Validate Emotion Without Abandoning Reality
Paperback
Religion General Christian Living
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Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 220
Weight: 0.66
Height: 0.46 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Your feelings are real. So are everyone else's.
Somewhere in the last decade, I feel I stopped being the start of a conversation and became its end. A feeling got named, and the naming settled everything: who was hurt, who was wrong, and who was not allowed to answer. Marriages, friendships, churches, and kitchens full of teenagers learned the same half-lesson-that a feeling deserves to be heard-and never got the other half.
Dr. Donetta D. Quinones has spent her career in the chair across from people whose feelings were true and whose conclusions were not. In My Feelings Are Not the Facts she gives back the whole tool: validation as three steps, not one. Acknowledge the feeling all the way out. Accept that it is one true reading of a moment that holds more than one. Act on the need underneath it, not the verdict on top of it.
Inside you will find:
- Why I feel has become the sentence that ends every hard conversation-and how to make it the sentence that starts one
- The five borrowed words (boundary, triggered, unsafe, gaslighting, trauma) and what each one meant before it went viral
- The difference between being wounded and being wronged, and why feeling wronged is not proof of wrongdoing
- What Scripture actually says about the heart-the whole verse, not the half that gets quoted at you
- A three-step method you can run on yourself tonight and with someone else tomorrow
- How to tell a real pattern from a lens, without ever blaming the person who was hurt
- Bedroom-door scripts for raising children who are fluent about feelings and accountable for what they do with them
With the plain-spoken honesty of a therapist and the depth of a lifelong student of Scripture, Dr. Quinones shows how to take every feeling seriously-including the ones across the table-without letting any of them decide what is real. For the spouse tired of losing to a word, the parent at a closed bedroom door, and the believer told to trust the heart or fear it, this is the missing end of the lesson.
Feelings are witnesses. They were never meant to be judges.
About the authorDonetta D. Quinones, PhD, LMHC, LPC Dr. Donetta D. Quinones is the founder and CEO of GraceRoot Institute and Dareu2bu Counseling Services, organizations dedicated to empowering individuals through psychoeducational resources, mental health advocacy, personal and professional development, and transformational healing. With more than 20 years of experience in mental, emotional, and spiritual health through research, training, counseling, and ministry, Dr. Quinones has devoted her career to helping individuals discover their authentic identity, establish healthy boundaries, and achieve lasting personal growth.
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