The Magazine of History, with Notes and Queries Volume 23-25

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1913 Excerpt: ... LETTERS OF A CONFEDERATE OFFICER 59 Rue De Vabennes, February 9th, 1864. My Dear Mother: I was so painfully conscious of the grief you would experience when apprised of that which I am about to break to you now, that I tried to postpone the moment as long as possible of communicating what will be the subject of this letter. But the time has now come for me to procrastinate no longer, and to execute the saddest part of a determination fixed, final and irrevocable. This determination which I am resolved to carry out with little delay, is to make an attempt to get into the South, and when there to act as it becomes a man who wishes to earn the respect of his countrymen. It is not by frittering and dreaming away the best years of my life that I can expect to win that esteem, without which I feel I would be eternally miserable. Were my sensibilities dead, my conscience silent, this frivolous, good-for-nothing mode of existence would most likely suit me very well; but thank God I have not so far lost all self-respect as to hesitate any longer between the pleasures of Capua and the exigencies of what I consider to be my duty. What that is I think I am at an age to appreciate, and therefore my mind is made up. My dearest mother, you must not take up the erroneous idea that all this is a mere freak, a transient ebullition of martial enthusiasm, which will simmer down and not be heard of in a few days. Disabuse yourself of that notion, I entreat you, for never yet have I been more inflexibly determined to carry out a resolve than I have been for the past three or four months. This plan, you see, is not the result of caprice, or of feverish impatience, but on the contrary the ripened fruit of mature reflection. Ah, how often have I tried to argue myself by the most in...