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The Last of the Assets
Paperback
Publisher: Tom Ball
Published: May 4 2026
Pages: 242
Weight: 0.63
Height: 0.51 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
The Last of the Assets
Retirement was supposed to be about quiet afternoons and manageable cholesterol. But for Davie, Dickie, and Danny, quiet is a four-letter word and manageable isn't in their vocabulary.
Davie is an ex-finance shark who views every social interaction as a high-stakes transaction and refuses to skydive in anything less than a bespoke three-piece suit. Dickie is a former military man who treats a trip to the local Co-op like a covert insertion and believes a galvanized bathtub is a perfectly viable tactical sledge. Then there's Danny, an ex-pub owner who knows everyone's secrets, owes everyone money, and is currently barred from almost every licensed premises in the county.
From accidentally skydiving into a slurry pit to wrestling runaway prize-winning leeks and attempting a Full Monty that the village-and their grandchildren-will never unsee, these three schoolboys in flat caps are determined to tick off their bucket list, no matter how many garden sheds they destroy or injunctions they incur.
But as the hospital visits mount and the local Constable loses his patience, the trio must face their greatest challenge yet: their wives have had enough. While the boys are planning their next operation, Brenda, Madge, and Linda are staging a tactical counter-strike that might finally bring the boys to heel-or at least get the gutters cleaned.
A hilarious, heart-warming romp through the Yorkshire dales, The Last of the Assets proves that you're never too old to cause a bit of chaos, and that some friendships (and bank balances) are simply too stubborn to die.
The Last of the Summer Wine meets The Bucket List. But the women are plotting their revenge!
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