I Didn't Order Grandma: No Express Shipping Available
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Aug 23 2026
Pages: 42
Weight: 0.27
Height: 0.11 Width: 8.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
Nobody ordered Grandma.
And yet - on Tuesday, there she is. In charge until Sunday, and slower than anything the fastest kid on the block has ever timed. Nine minutes to the mailbox. Twenty-two minutes for one apple. She says hello to a dog that has never once said hello back.
So the kid does what any reasonable timekeeper would do: gets out the stopwatch and writes it all down. Every trip. Every record. None of it gets faster.
Then Sunday comes, the car pulls away - and the quietest, fastest week of all begins.
From the creator of I Didn't Order a Baby, I Didn't Order a Monster, and I Didn't Order a Kiss comes a fourth deadpan-funny story about a big feeling - this time, the slow kind of love you only notice once it drives away. It lets a kid complain about every slow minute, takes the complaining completely seriously, and then lets the stopwatch tell the truth.
Perfect for:
- Kids ages 4-8 who are always being told to slow down (and never do)
- Families counting the days until the next grandparent visit
- Grandparents Day, birthday, and going to Grandma's gifts
- Read-alouds that make kids laugh and grandparents reach for a tissue
40 pages of warm, funny illustrations, one very serious record notebook, and the best worst record in picture-book history.
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