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How to Cheat at Poker and Get Away With It: A Guide by Someone Who Never Has
Paperback
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Publisher: Independently Published
Pages: 150
Weight: 0.46
Height: 0.32 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
Sam Petrakis has a foolproof system for cheating at poker. He has several, actually. None of them have worked.
Sam is 41, works in regional logistics, and plays one-cent poker at his kitchen table in Columbus, Ohio, after the kids go to bed. In his head, he's a legendary card sharp. In reality, he's been banned from eight establishments, one of which he was never a member of.
In this hilariously sincere guide, Sam walks you through every technique in the cheater's arsenal, and every way they went wrong:
- A collusion code built on coughs, wrecked by his brother-in-law's cold
- A deck marked in glitter gel pen, cracked by his seven-year-old during Go Fish
- A reflective lighter that showed him nothing but his own nostrils
- A card up the sleeve that ended in a Moose Lodge guacamole bowl
- A second online account named, brilliantly, SamTheShark2
Along the way you'll meet Phyllis, the 71-year-old retired accountant who has taken Sam's money every Tuesday for fifteen years. You'll meet his wife, Meg, who says his name like it's a full paragraph, and a mysterious online player called QuietRiver, who always seems to know exactly what Sam is going to do. It all builds to one final heist at an elementary school charity tournament, where every person who has ever caught him is working the room.
How to Cheat at Poker and Get Away With It is a comic novel disguised as a how-to book, with real poker inside it and a surprising amount of heart. It's perfect for poker players, for anyone who has ever lost to their grandma at cards, and for every family with a dad who is absolutely certain he has a system.
Nobody in this book gets away with anything. That's the point.
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