Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley door pickup 10am - 7pm 3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
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  • Open Daily: 10am - 10pm
    Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm

    3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
    612-822-4611

Open Daily: 10am - 10pm | Alley-side Pickup: 10am - 7pm
3038 Hennepin Ave Minneapolis, MN
612-822-4611
The Holy Book of the Blessed Pond: The Canonical Scriptures of the Faith of the Pond

The Holy Book of the Blessed Pond: The Canonical Scriptures of the Faith of the Pond

Bowen, Daniel

Paperback

Religion General General World History

ISBN13: 9798186594673
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jul 9 2026
Pages: 322
Weight: 1.32
Height: 0.84 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The Holy Book of the Blessed Pond

The Canonical Scriptures of the Faith of the Pond

A complete sacred canon spanning 3,700 years of history, 230 Keepers, one miraculous Quack, and an unreasonable number of councils.

What if an ancient religion had been built around a single duck, a loaf of bread, and one sacred word?

The Holy Book of the Blessed Pond is a lovingly crafted work of literary genius presented as the complete sacred scriptures of the Faith of the Pond. Written in the style of ancient religious texts, it follows nearly four millennia of history through the writings of over 230 Keepers, preserving creation stories, laws, wisdom literature, prophecies, letters, miracles, historical chronicles, forgotten books, theological debates, ecumenical councils, and one surprisingly influential Left Sock controversy.

Within these pages you will discover:

  • The creation of the First Pond and the appearance of the Blessed One.
  • The rise of the Keepers and the Thirty Commandments of the Faith.
  • Psalms, Proverbs, letters, and centuries of sacred tradition.
  • The rivalry with the religions of Hair (NIVOD) and Baldness (NIVOB).
  • Lost books, rejected gospels, scholarly disputes, and absurd church councils.
  • The miraculous ascension of the Blessed One after speaking a single word: Quack.
  • A moving final testament from the Last Keeper that reminds us that hope is found not merely in waiting, but in faithfully keeping the Pond.

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