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Everybody Stay Calm: The Worst Communications Crisis in History
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jun 25 2026
Pages: 198
Weight: 0.54
Height: 0.50 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
The aliens arrived on a Tuesday. They came with paperwork.
The Kethari have been watching Earth for forty-seven years, and they've reached the stage where they decide what to do about it. They aren't interested in our courage, or our cleverness. They want to know one thing: whether our civilisation, under real pressure, can stay coherent.
Humans, it turns out, are bad at this.
Mara Vale runs crisis communications. She has seventy-two hours, an alien starship, an administrator who loves paperwork the way other people love their children, and a gold-trimmed strongman who's just fired a missile at the visitors and gained half a million followers doing it. She has to drag Earth's score up to barely acceptable before a second, far less patient fleet arrives to finish the assessment.
Somewhere out there is a civilisation that handled first contact with grace and unity. This is not that story.
A first-contact comedy that is secretly the sharpest crisis-communications manual you'll read all year.
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