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Don't Ever Buy a F-Ing Monkey
Hardcover
Biographies GeneralHumorGeneral Parenting
Publisher Price: $39.99
Publisher: Gaf Music and Books
Published: Jul 26 2026
Pages: 552
Weight: 2.57
Height: 1.19 Width: 7.00 Depth: 10.00
Language: English
Surfing Heals All Wounds. That's one of Ralph Fatello's favorite mantras. And once you read his book, you will know why. For those who don't know him. Ralph Fatello is a longtime Surfer/photographer/videographer/blogger/artist/musician/singer/songwriter/outdoorsman who also happens to be a Marine Corps Vietnam Veteran who served as a Grunt during the war 1969-1970. He has been writing this book for the last 75 years. And some of his adventures and experiences will have you scratching your head, laughing out loud, and cringing with terror. And through it all, Ralph has kept a sense of humor while maintaining a stoic and compassionate demeanor.
From being chased by 12' Tiger Shark 3 miles from land while surfing an outer reef break on Oahu in the late 80's, to being charged by a full-grown Bull Moose in the mountains of Maine near the Canadian border while bird hunting over one of his pointing dogs. To playing in front of 25,000 people at the Meadowlands in NJ in 1986 to playing in front of Pablo Escobar in Medellin Columbia in 1983 and living to talk about it. His band opened for the Police in 1978 at the RAT in Boston on their very first night in Boston and their second show in America. To opening for The Red-Hot Chili Peppers on their first night in Boston in 1984. He's toured all over the East Coast with his bands and was even featured on MTV and holds the distinct title of being the FIRST ever Rock and Roller to show the lead singer of a band surfing.
He once surfed every single day for one year in New Hampshire in memory of his father Gus when he turned 50. He raised $33,000 for the ADA (American Diabetes Association). Then he did the same thing when he turned 60. Every single day for one year in memory of a little girl who passed away from large cell lymphoma. He raised $20,000 for the families of young children dealing with cancer.
He started the FIRST IN THE NATION GWOT (Global War on Terrorism) monument in the United States. And was the point man in introducing the Wounded veterans from Iraq, Afghanistan, to Vietnam to Surfing in New Hampshire. The summer of 2026 will be the 18th consecutive year for his widely popular HIT THE BEACH Day.
He even has a chapter called THE UNEXPLAINABLE. Where he tells (with eyewitnesses and photographic evidence) a series of crazy, but true stories, that have happened to him throughout his life that simply cannot be explained. Oh, and yes, he really did own a large male Woolly Monkey that he bought in a pet store when he returned from Vietnam. He did this to try and fit in with the hippies. The monkey almost ruined his life.
But his story is much more than this description. And all of these stories are true. If you want to be entertained in all the emotions that life has to offer, then you should give this book a serious consideration.
Remember...Surfing Heals All Wounds.
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