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The Distributional Analysis of Love
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Dec 13 2025
Pages: 272
Weight: 0.81
Height: 0.57 Width: 6.00 Depth: 9.00
Language: English
On a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, the city of Oakhaven stopped feeling anything. The DMV was running on time. The high schools were eerily quiet. Something was very wrong.
The emotions hadn't disappeared. They had pooled.
Every unspoken longing, every swallowed apology, every love that never quite got said out loud had slid, slowly and inevitably, into the municipal fountain at Liberty Square, which was now glowing amber, humming at a frequency that made pigeons uncomfortable, and threatening to overflow in a concentrated tidal wave of pure, undiluted human feeling.
The Mayor's office assembled the only team willing to take the case: a data scientist who measures the weight of awkward silences, a psychologist who treats emotions as airborne pathogens, a priest whose faith has been feeling suspiciously light since the devil moved out, and a nine-year-old girl who can feel the world too loudly and has been trying to turn the volume down her entire life.
They have forty-eight hours. They have a key, a map, and absolutely no agreement on what love actually is.
The fate of the city - and, more pressingly, the fate of the annual Oakhaven Meatloaf Special - depends on them figuring it out.
The Distributional Analysis of Love is a philosophical comedy about the infrastructure of feeling - for readers of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Good Omens, and anyone who has ever suspected that the real emergency is not that we feel too much, but that we've forgotten how to let it circulate.
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