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Beyond Numb: A Memoir
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Jun 12 2026
Pages: 134
Weight: 0.44
Height: 0.29 Width: 6.14 Depth: 9.21
Language: English
What if you achieved the life you once dreamed about-only to discover that somewhere along the way, you stopped feeling it?
Invisible Fence is a deeply personal memoir about survival, ambition, success, love, loss, and the search for meaning.
Born during the Lebanese Civil War, Mark H. Awad grew up surrounded by uncertainty before immigrating to America with little more than determination and the hope of building a better life.
He learned English. He pursued an education. He earned advanced degrees. He built a career in automotive sales, entered real estate development, became an entrepreneur, traveled the world, took risks, survived setbacks, and continued pushing toward the next goal.
From the outside, it looked like the American Dream.
But success came with a cost he didn't recognize while he was paying it.
In the relentless pursuit of the next deal, the next accomplishment, and the next version of success, Mark slowly became disconnected from the things no amount of money could replace-family, relationships, love, time, and ultimately himself.
He had become numb.
Not only to pain, but to joy.
Not only to loss, but to the moments that make life worth living.
Through stories of war, immigration, entrepreneurship, relationships, heartbreak, world travel, financial setbacks, personal loss, and unexpected second chances, Mark looks back at the experiences that shaped him-and the invisible beliefs that kept pushing him forward even when he no longer knew what he was running toward.
The deaths of people he loved forced him to confront something ambition could never solve:
Time does not negotiate.
Money can be earned again. Businesses can be rebuilt. Deals can be replaced. Careers can change.
But some dinners never happen again.
Some conversations cannot be repeated.
Some people leave before we realize how much we still needed to tell them.
And some opportunities disappear simply because we assumed there would always be more time.
Eventually, Mark was forced to ask the question many of us avoid until life asks it for us:
What is the point of building a successful life if you become too numb to experience it?
Invisible Fence is not a story about abandoning ambition.
It is about understanding what ambition is for.
It is about recognizing the invisible fences built from fear, expectations, money, status, failure, regret, and the stories we inherit about what a successful life is supposed to look like.
And it is about discovering that sometimes the greatest success is not reaching the next destination.
It is waking up before the people, moments, and life you were working so hard for are gone.
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