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Alien Can't Phone Home
Paperback
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Publisher: Jeremy Jameson
Pages: 296
Weight: 0.76
Height: 0.67 Width: 5.50 Depth: 8.50
Language: English
When Rodney (Designation R-DN-7), a hyper-logical alien technician carrying a quadrant-saving data packet, crash-lands his advanced spacecraft into the Miller family's backyard hydrangeas, his mission seems doomed. Stranded on a 'backwater' planet with a damaged ship and zero data credits to call home, he is discovered by two suburban siblings: tech-obsessed Harry and his ruthlessly pragmatic sister, Genevieve. Fearing government intervention and parental grounding, the trio strikes a 'Backyard Accord, ' masking Rodney's presence by passing him off as 'Cousin Barnaby, ' an eccentric, homeschooled boy from the remote wilderness.
The deception leads to a series of high-stakes, fish-out-of-water comedic encounters as Rodney attempts to integrate into suburban life. From chaotic trips to the grocery store where he analyzes bone density instead of buying milk, to a school infiltration where he interprets 'recess' as a tactical drill, the stakes rise alongside the hilarity. However, the mission is far from safe. Agent Vance, a manically obsessed federal operative from the Department of Unexplained Phenomena, is closing in. Convinced that the 'Cousin' is the key to an extraterrestrial breach, Vance and his bumbling partner, Briggs, initiate a relentless investigation that pushes the siblings to their tactical limits.
As the 'ticking clock' of Rodney's ship's warp core repair grows louder, the trio is forced into desperate measures, including hacking school infrastructure and siphoning power from the neighborhood grid. Amidst the espionage and the gadgets, an unlikely bond forms between the logical alien and his human 'crew, ' shifting Rodney's perspective on human emotion from 'inefficient data' to something worth protecting. The story culminates in a chaotic showdown during a high school football game, where the siblings must help Rodney ignite his ship and escape the clutches of the government, forever changing their view of the stars and their place within them.
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