Sign-In
Cart
21 Turtle Truths You'll Never Read in a Care Guide (Confessions of a Grumpy Turtle): Funny Turtle Book for Owners - Real Turtle Behavior, Attitude, an
Paperback
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: Apr 13 2025
Pages: 54
Weight: 0.33
Height: 0.11 Width: 8.50 Depth: 11.00
Language: English
Think your turtle's just a quiet little swimmer? Think again.
21 Turtle Truths You'll Never Read in a Care Guide (Confessions of a Grumpy Turtle) is not your average turtle care book.
It's told straight from the shell-by a turtle who's tired of being misunderstood, overfed pellets, and stared at while trying to poop in peace.
This funny turtle book for owners combines real-life care tips with hilarious, brutally honest turtle commentary. Whether you're a new turtle parent or a long-time reptile lover, you'll see your shelled buddy in a whole new light.
Inside, you'll learn:
Why your turtle hides in that one weird corner
What it really means when they stop basking
The truth behind turtle poop timing (yes, it's calculated)
How turtles secretly manipulate your feeding habits
And what your turtle thinks about your playlist, cleaning skills, and decorating choices
Written in the voice of a grumpy, side-eyeing turtle, this book delivers serious turtle knowledge wrapped in laughs.
It's perfect for tortoise and turtle owners, animal lovers, and anyone who's ever looked at their pet and wondered, Are you judging me right now?
If you love your turtle-even if they kind of hate you-this is the book to read.
Also from
Rahman, Muntaseer
Also in
Pets: General
The Dog's Table: 120+ Easy Real-Food Recipes for Happier, Healthier Pups--From Eggs Benedog to Seafood Pawella
Jay, Joelle
Young, R. a.
Hardcover
Brain Games - Sticker by Letter: Playful Pets (Sticker Puzzles - Kids Activity Book)
New Seasons
Publications International Ltd
Brain Games
Paperback
An Absolute Beginner's Guide to Keeping a Pet Rabbit: Handling, Feeding, Housing, and Grooming
Cinteza, Adriana
Paperback
All Things Bright and Beautiful: The Warm and Joyful Memoirs of the World's Most Beloved Animal Doctor
Herriot, James
Paperback
The Forever Dog Life: 120+ Recipes, Longevity Tips, and New Science for Better Bowls and Healthier Homes
Becker, Karen Shaw
Habib, Rodney
Hardcover
The Dog Listener: Learn How to Communicate with Your Dog for Willing Cooperation
Fennell, Jan
Paperback
All Things Wise and Wonderful: The Warm and Joyful Memoirs of the World's Most Beloved Animal Doctor
Herriot, James
Paperback
National Geographic Little Kids First Big Book of Pets
Hughes, Catherine D.
National Geographic Kids
Hardcover
We Will See Our Pets in Heaven: The Afterlife of Animals from a Biblical Perspective
Burgess, Brian
Paperback
James Herriot's Dog Stories: Warm and Wonderful Stories about the Animals Herriot Loves Best
Herriot, James
Paperback
Cesar's Way: The Natural, Everyday Guide to Understanding and Correcting Common Dog Problems
Millan, Cesar
Peltier, Melissa Jo
Paperback
The Interpretation of Cats: Understanding the Psychology of Our Feline Companions
Béata, Claude
Paperback
Every Living Thing: The Warm and Joyful Memoirs of the World's Most Beloved Animal Doctor
Herriot, James
Paperback
The Forever Dog: Surprising New Science to Help Your Canine Companion Live Younger, Healthier, and Longer
Habib, Rodney
Becker, Karen Shaw
Paperback
Don't Eat That: Force-Free Food Avoidance Training for Dogs who Love to Scavenge
Kokko, Päivi
Mueller, Simone
Paperback
Yin & Yang Nutrition for Dogs: Maximizing Health with Whole Foods, Not Drugs
Morgan DVM, Judy
Grant, Hue
Paperback
Smithsonian Handbook of Interesting Insects
Kirk-Spriggs, Ashley
Broad, Gavin
Huertas, Blanca
Hardcover
Homer's Odyssey: A Fearless Feline Tale, or How I Learned about Love and Life with a Blind Wondercat
Cooper, Gwen
Paperback
The Witch's Guide to Animal Familiars: Spells, Rituals & Recipes for Making Magic with Animal Allies
Pamita, Madame
Paperback
The Wonderful World of James Herriot: A Charming Collection of Classic Stories
Herriot, James
Paperback
The Book of Pet Love and Loss: Words of Comfort and Wisdom from Remarkable People
Bader, Sara
Hardcover
Dog Grooming for Beginners: Simple Techniques for Washing, Trimming, Cleaning & Clipping All Breeds of Dogs
Bendersky, Jorge
Paperback
The Little Book of Chickens: An Illustrated Guide to the Extraordinary Lives of Chickens
Ford, Jessica
Hardcover
Heal the Beasts: A Jaunt Through the Curious History of the Veterinary Arts
Schott, Philipp
Paperback
The Amazing Afterlife of Animals: Messages and Signs From Our Pets On The Other Side
Anderson, Karen a.
Paperback
I Will See You in Heaven (Dog Lover's Edition): -- A Book of Comfort and Reassurance for Pet Loss
Wintz, Friar Jack
Hardcover
Pawverbs for a Dog Lover's Heart: Inspiring Stories of Friendship, Fun, and Faithfulness
Bleakley, Jennifer Marshall
Hardcover
Good Old Dog: Expert Advice for Keeping Your Aging Dog Happy, Healthy, and Comfortable
Dodman, Nicholas H.
Paperback
The Ultimate Guidebook for Cat Owners (from a Veterinarian): How to Choose, Care For, and Keep Happy, Healthy Kittens and Cats
Lopez Bsc DVM, Marlena
Hardcover
The Pet Loss Companion: Healing Advice from Family Therapists Who Lead Pet Loss Groups
Saxton-Lopez, Nancy
Dolan-Del Vecchio, Ken
Paperback
Thank You for Loving Me: And Other Things Your Pet Wants You to Know (Words of Comfort for a Pet Lover's Grieving Heart)
Bleakley, Jennifer Marshall
Hardcover
Zak George's Dog Training Revolution: The Complete Guide to Raising the Perfect Pet with Love
Port, Dina Roth
George, Zak
Paperback
Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned from My Cat: 101 Tales of Our Favorite Felines
Newmark, Amy
Paperback
Riding Between the Worlds: Expanding Our Potential Through the Way of the Horse
Kohanov, Linda
Paperback
Out of Sight: An Undercover Investigator's Fight for Animal Rights and Her Own Survival
Eisnitz, Gail A.
Hardcover
Your Animal -- Your Soul Mirror: Healing the Emotional Wounds of Animals and Their People
Billups, Tammy
Paperback
Play with Your Cat!: The Essential Guide to Interactive Play for a Happier, Healthier Feline
Delgado, Mikel Maria
Paperback
Dr. Pitcairn's Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs & Cats (4th Edition)
Pitcairn, Susan Hubble
Pitcairn, Richard H.
Paperback
The Forever Dog: Surprising New Science to Help Your Canine Companion Live Younger, Healthier, and Longer
Habib, Rodney
Becker, Karen Shaw
Hardcover
Horses Hate Surprise Parties: Equitation Science for Young Riders
Jones, Portland C.
Warren, Sophie H.
Paperback
Decoding Your Dog: Explaining Common Dog Behaviors and How to Prevent or Change Unwanted Ones
Horwitz, Debra F.
Amer Coll of Veterinary Behaviorists
Paperback
Understand Your Border Collie: A Breed-Specific Training Approach for Perfect Pet Behaviour
Hedderly, Sarah
Hardcover
Animal Chakra Healing: Bringing Balance, Health, and Joy to Our Animal Companions
Ranquet, Joan
Paperback
Leopard Gecko Manual, 3rd Edition: Expert Advice for Keeping and Caring for Healthy Pet Leos
de Vosjoli, Philippe
Paperback
Missing Pieces...Broken Heart: A Recovery Guide for the Grief and Sorrow of Pet Loss
Shonk, B. J.
Paperback
Decoding Your Cat: The Ultimate Experts Explain Common Cat Behaviors and Reveal How to Prevent or Change Unwanted Ones
American College of Veterinary Beha
Paperback
Flash: The Homeless Donkey Who Taught Me about Life, Faith, and Second Chances
Ridge, Rachel Anne
Paperback
The Do No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Handbook: Featuring the Hierarchy of Dog Needs(R)
Michaels, Linda
Paperback
How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond
Millan, Cesar
Peltier, Melissa Jo
Paperback
Good Dog: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Loyalty
Dibenedetto, David
Editors of Garden and Gun
Hardcover
The Loss of a Pet: A Guide to Coping with the Grieving Process When a Pet Dies
Sife, Wallace
Paperback
Welcoming Your Puppy from Planet Dog: How to Go Beyond Training and Raise Your Best Friend
Callahan, Kathy
Paperback
For the Love of a Dog: Understanding Emotion in You and Your Best Friend
McConnell, Patricia
Paperback
Dogs That Know When Their Owners Are Coming Home: And Other Unexplained Powers of Animals
Sheldrake, Rupert
Paperback
Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned from My Dog: 101 Stories about Our Best Friends
Newmark, Amy
Paperback
The Gospel According to Sam: Animal Stories for the Soul (20th Anniversary Edition)
Miller, William
Paperback
Storey's Guide to Raising Dairy Goats, 5th Edition: Breed Selection, Feeding, Fencing, Health Care, Dairying, Marketing
Bredesen, Sara Thomson
Belanger, Jerry
Paperback
Scent of the Missing: Love and Partnership with a Search-And-Rescue Dog
Charleson, Susannah
Paperback
Energy Healing for Animals: A Hands-On Guide for Enhancing the Health, Longevity, and Happiness of Your Pets
Ranquet, Joan
Paperback
Animalkind: Remarkable Discoveries about Animals and Revolutionary New Ways to Show Them Compassion
Stone, Gene
Newkirk, Ingrid
Paperback
Old Dog, New Dog: Supporting Your Aging Best Friend and Welcoming a New One
Callahan, Kathy
Pierre, Helen St
Paperback
Cats Who Changed the World: 50 Cats Who Altered History, Inspired Literature... or Ruined Everything
Jones, Dan
Hardcover
The Ultimate Service Dog Training Manual: 100 Tips for Choosing, Raising, Socializing, and Retiring Your Dog
Grace, Keagen J.
Paperback