A revised and updated edition (with more than 70% new material) of the evergreen classic about the innate differences between boys and girls and how best to parent and teach girls and boys successfully, with completely new chapters on sexual orientation and on transgender and intersex kids.Eleven years ago, Why Gender Matters broke ground in illuminating the differences between boys and girls--how they perceive the world differently, how they learn differently, how they process emotions and take risks differently. Dr. Sax argued that in failing to recognize these hardwired differences between boys and girls, we ended up reinforcing damaging stereotypes, medicalizing normal behavior (see: the rising rates of ADHD diagnosis), and failing to support kids to reach their full potential. In the intervening decade, the world has changed drastically, with an avalanche of new research which supports, deepens, and expands Dr. Sax's work. This revised and updated edition includes new findings about how boys and girls interact differently with social media and video games; a completely new discussion of research on gender non-conforming, LGB, and transgender kids, new findings about how girls and boys see differently, hear differently, and even smell differently; and new material about the medicalization of bad behavior.
- Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
- You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriends.
- Male emotions are like women's sexuality: you can't be too direct too quickly.
- There are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routines.
- Men want closer marriages just as much as women do, but not if they have to act like a woman.
- Talking makes women move closer; it makes men move away.
- The secret of the silent male is this: his wife supplies the meaning in his life.
- The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help. Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most--in our intimate relationships. Why, if love is so great and powerful, are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives.Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal, core wounding around love that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This wounding shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove--a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. And this shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace our humanness and appreciate the imperfections of our relationships as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.
"Sex at Dawn challenges conventional wisdom about sex in a big way. By examining the prehistoric origins of human sexual behavior the authors are able to expose the fallacies and weaknesses of standard theories proposed by most experts. This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly." -- Andrew Weil, M.D.
"Sex at Dawn irrefutably shows that what is obvious--that human beings, both male and female, are lustful--is true, and has always been so.... The more dubious its evidentiary basis and lack of connection with current reality, the more ardently the scientific inevitability of monogamy is maintained--even as it falls away around us." -- Stanton Peele, Ph.D.
A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you (think you) know about sex, monogamy, marriage, and family. In the words of Steve Taylor (The Fall, Waking From Sleep), Sex at Dawn is "a wonderfully provocative and well-written book which completely re-evaluates human sexual behavior and gets to the root of many of our social and psychological ills."
This is the little book that started a revolution, making women's voices heard, in their own right and with their own integrity, for virtually the first time in social scientific theorizing about women. Its impact was immediate and continues to this day, in the academic world and beyond. Translated into sixteen languages, with more than 700,000 copies sold around the world, In a Different Voice has inspired new research, new educational initiatives, and political debate and helped many women and men to see themselves and each other in a different light.Carol Gilligan believes that psychology has persistently and systematically misunderstood women their motives, their moral commitments, the course of their psychological growth, and their special view of what is important in life. Here she sets out to correct psychology's misperceptions and refocus its view of female personality. The result is truly a tour de force, which may well reshape much of what psychology now has to say about female experience."
Schaef applies the addictions of sex, love, romance, and relationships to her broader addiction theory and clearly defines and contrasts the relationship addictions.
In this provocative and highly personal book, bestselling author Naomi Wolf explores a subject that has long been taboo in our society: women's sexual coming-of-age. Promiscuities brazenly exposes the truths behind the conflicting messages directed at young women during and after the sexual revolution. Drawing on surprising examples from the ancient and recent past, along with vivid recollections of her own youth, Wolf shows how our -liberated- culture still fears and distorts female passion. She also shares fascinating true stories that illustrate the fantasies and sometimes crippling realities women pass through on their way toward erotic and emotional discovery. A landmark book, Promiscuities is a call to women of all ages to reclaim and celebrate their sexuality.
Shame means that many couples still find it difficult to be honest with one another about who they are and what they need to feel sexually satisfied. We shouldn't suppose that we can always and invariably share our every sexual proclivity with others, but there's a lot we could feel more confident about expressing. Things that seem strange can turn out to be quite understandable when we consider them rationally; there's an important role for philosophical analysis in stretching the understanding we have of our own desires. Sex explores a range of sexual enthusiasms in order to help us acknowledge hitherto forbidden aspects of ourselves and to communicate them in unpanicked, undefensive ways to our partners. Its goal is to help us to be maturely unfrightened of our own sexuality; to reduce unnecessary shame; and to increase opportunities for moments of courageous and relationship-enhancing honesty.
From a bold new feminist voice, a book that will change the way you think about your sex life.Fifty years after the sexual revolution, we are told that we live in a time of unprecedented sexual freedom; that if anything, we are too free now. But beneath the veneer of glossy hedonism, millennial journalist Rachel Hills argues that we are controlled by a new brand of sexual convention: one which influences all of us--woman or man, straight or gay, liberal or conservative. At the root of this silent code lies the Sex Myth--the defining significance we invest in sexuality that once meant we were dirty if we did have sex, and now means we are defective if we don't do it enough. Equal parts social commentary, pop culture, and powerful personal anecdotes from people across the English-speaking world, The Sex Myth exposes the invisible norms and unspoken assumptions that shape the way we think about sex today.
"But what about me?"
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners--girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers--trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:
- The Basics--answers common questions about sexual abuse.
- Allies in Healing--introduces key concepts of working and growing together.
- My Needs and Feelings--teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs.
- Dealing with Crisis--includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness.
- Intimacy and Communication--offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting.
- Sex--provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration.
- Family lssues--suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family.
- Partners' Stories--explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.