"I know I'm not a man . . . and I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not a woman, either. . . . . The trouble is, we're living in a world that insists we be one or the other." With these words, Kate Bornstein ushers readers on a funny, fearless, and wonderfully scenic journey across the terrains of gender and identity. On one level, Gender Outlaw details Bornstein's transformation from heterosexual male to lesbian woman, from a one-time IBM salesperson to a playwright and performance artist. But this particular coming-of-age story is also a provocative investigation into our notions of male and female, from a self-described nonbinary transfeminine diesel femme dyke who never stops questioning our cultural assumptions.Gender Outlaw was decades ahead of its time when it was first published in 1994. Now, some twenty-odd years later, this book stands as both a classic and a still-revolutionary work--one that continues to push us gently but profoundly to the furthest borders of the gender frontier. With a new introduction
"Sex at Dawn challenges conventional wisdom about sex in a big way. By examining the prehistoric origins of human sexual behavior the authors are able to expose the fallacies and weaknesses of standard theories proposed by most experts. This is a provocative, entertaining, and pioneering book. I learned a lot from it and recommend it highly." -- Andrew Weil, M.D.
"Sex at Dawn irrefutably shows that what is obvious--that human beings, both male and female, are lustful--is true, and has always been so.... The more dubious its evidentiary basis and lack of connection with current reality, the more ardently the scientific inevitability of monogamy is maintained--even as it falls away around us." -- Stanton Peele, Ph.D.
A controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you (think you) know about sex, monogamy, marriage, and family. In the words of Steve Taylor (The Fall, Waking From Sleep), Sex at Dawn is "a wonderfully provocative and well-written book which completely re-evaluates human sexual behavior and gets to the root of many of our social and psychological ills."
With an eye for the sensual bloom of young schoolgirls, and the torrid style of the romantic novels of her day, Herculine Barbin tells the story of her life as a hermaphrodite. Herculine was designated female at birth. A pious girl in a Catholic orphanage, a bewildered adolescent enchanted by the ripening bodies of her classmates, a passionate lover of another schoolmistress, she is suddenly reclassified as a man. Alone and desolate, he commits suicide at the age of thirty in a miserable attic in Paris.Here, in an erotic diary, is one lost voice from our sexual past. Provocative, articulate, eerily prescient as she imagines her corpse under the probing instruments of scientists, Herculine brings a disturbing perspective to our own notions of sexuality. Michel Foucault, who discovered these memoirs in the archives of the French Department of Public Hygiene, presents them with the graphic medical descriptions of Herculine's body before and after her death. In a striking contrast, a painfully confused young person and the doctors who examine her try to sort out the nature of masculine and feminine at the dawn of the age of modern sexuality.
Sexuality & Space's interdisciplinary essays address gender in relation to architectural discourse and critical theory, focusing on the relationships between sexuality and space hidden within everyday practices. Contributors include Jennifer Bloomer, Victor Burgin, Beatriz Colomina, Elizabeth Grosz, Catherine Ingraham, Meaghan Morris, Laura Mulvey, Molly Nesbit, Alessandra Ponte, Lynn Spigel, Patricia White, and Mark Wigley.A milestone in the evolving discourse of architectural history and criticism.... These essays raise crucial questions about design and the experience of architecture, and many attempt to engage ... the rich critical literature of cultural studies. -- Alice T. Friedman, JSAHSexuality and Space is important, even necessary.... Both timely and well worth the time. -- Thomas Keenan, Newsline
Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships--it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it.--Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon [A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered.--Publishers Weekly Cheerful, open, and humane--you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst.--Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review [T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic.--JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com
A revised and updated edition (with more than 70% new material) of the evergreen classic about the innate differences between boys and girls and how best to parent and teach girls and boys successfully, with completely new chapters on sexual orientation and on transgender and intersex kids.Eleven years ago, Why Gender Matters broke ground in illuminating the differences between boys and girls--how they perceive the world differently, how they learn differently, how they process emotions and take risks differently. Dr. Sax argued that in failing to recognize these hardwired differences between boys and girls, we ended up reinforcing damaging stereotypes, medicalizing normal behavior (see: the rising rates of ADHD diagnosis), and failing to support kids to reach their full potential. In the intervening decade, the world has changed drastically, with an avalanche of new research which supports, deepens, and expands Dr. Sax's work. This revised and updated edition includes new findings about how boys and girls interact differently with social media and video games; a completely new discussion of research on gender non-conforming, LGB, and transgender kids, new findings about how girls and boys see differently, hear differently, and even smell differently; and new material about the medicalization of bad behavior.
This is the little book that started a revolution, making women's voices heard, in their own right and with their own integrity, for virtually the first time in social scientific theorizing about women. Its impact was immediate and continues to this day, in the academic world and beyond. Translated into sixteen languages, with more than 700,000 copies sold around the world, In a Different Voice has inspired new research, new educational initiatives, and political debate and helped many women and men to see themselves and each other in a different light.Carol Gilligan believes that psychology has persistently and systematically misunderstood women their motives, their moral commitments, the course of their psychological growth, and their special view of what is important in life. Here she sets out to correct psychology's misperceptions and refocus its view of female personality. The result is truly a tour de force, which may well reshape much of what psychology now has to say about female experience."
- Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
- You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriends.
- Male emotions are like women's sexuality: you can't be too direct too quickly.
- There are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routines.
- Men want closer marriages just as much as women do, but not if they have to act like a woman.
- Talking makes women move closer; it makes men move away.
- The secret of the silent male is this: his wife supplies the meaning in his life.
- The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help. Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
Masters and Johnson on Sex and Human Loving, written by the internationally acclaimed sex researchers William H. Masters, Virginia E. Johnson, and Robert C. Kolodny, is a comprehensive, warm, and highly readable survey that includes the most current findings on the remarkable range of complexities--biological, psychological, and social--that make up human sexuality.